Heartbeat

Chapter 32- Meg

Meg had slipped away from the fray after she handed the vial of parem to Clem. She knew where she had to go and headed toward the Warehouse determinedly. Sol had told her that it had been Zelda who had betrayed them. Everyone was deceived. She didn't correct Sol but knew it wasn't Zelda but Granny. Granny orchestrated all this; she's only ever seen me as something to be pawned off. She thought, marching steadily towards her office. She wasn't surprised; she only hoped that if Clem survived, she would finally see Granny for what she was.

Meg reached the Bank and went in. People were startled at seeing her, unsure of how she looked but knew it wasn't well-kept. Meg ignored them, heading straight for the empty Warehouse. Meg was told that Zelda had been moved. She unlocked the Warehouse door and entered inside. Her hearing was still lost, but she knew it was silent. She looked toward her office, and her lip began trembling again. Without Sal, it couldn't be the same. Entering her office felt impossible.

Meg stood in place, staring, unsure how much time was passing. Her lip stopped trembling. She felt distant from the world, no longer a part of it. She hoped the feeling would last. Nothing seemed to move her feet forward.

With great effort, she moved towards her office, fumbling with the keys to open the door. Remembering how no one had checked her or Sal for anything that had been on them. They would have found the parem and possibly released them if they had only looked. Meg felt the sting of pain again and tried to shove it down, focusing on the door.

She opened it. It was in complete disarray. She wondered who had been there. In her ghost-like state, the curiosity faded quickly. Despite her exhaustion, she began looking through all her items, taking inventory of what she had. She stopped frequently, sitting on her stool, and she began to have panicked breathing. She tried to stop them, trying to force herself to take control and feel nothing.

Meg had many supplies on her desk, staring at them blankly. She sat and continued staring. More time passed, and finally, Meg grabbed a few items and clumsily mixed them together. Taking a breath, she summoned all her gall and combined it with determination. Using her last effort of fabrikating that she could muster.

Meg was patient, waiting for her mixture to settle. She knew she could achieve her goal quickly and efficiently but prioritized being careful.

After an hour, she moved over to the stove and filled her kettle with water, placing it on one of the elements as she turned it on.

She watched the kettle, waiting for the water to boil. When it did, she took the raw component of the za vee and placed it into the kettle. She mixed them and then took a mug, filling it with the tea and letting the leaves swirl in the cup. She placed the mug next to her previously made mixture. She stared at the two of them.

Meg looked at out the windows of the Warehouse and saw it was almost dawn. The rain had finally stopped, and the sun was rising. Meg moved over to the door of the Warehouse slowly. She went to shut the door, but as she put her hands on the bolt, the door flew open. Knocking Meg back with her own surprise.

Dal emerged through, shut, and bolted the door behind them. Clearly trying to keep others out. Their face looked hard, dirty, and crazed. Their breathing was heavy as Meg saw their chest heave. Meg looked at them only momentarily, recognizing Sal beneath the dirt. Meg stood up as quickly as she could and ran for her office without a word. Not looking behind her to see if Dal was following. She leapt up the stairs and reached for both glasses, trying to bring them both two her lips as quickly as possible.

Dal was quick as well, grabbing both cups from Meg's hands. They struggled. Meg tried to hold on as tightly as possible, but Dal was relentless. They moved their mouth towards Meg's hands and bit down as hard as they could. Meg tried to ignore the pain but had to give in. She let go of the mugs but still placed them on the table. She yanked her hands free from Dal's mouth. Dal reached for the cups again, and Meg shoved them away.

"Let me do it, Dal! Just let it go!" Meg shrieked, unsure if Dal responded, too focused on trying to keep Dal away from them. Despite Meg's age and size difference, she was no fighter, and Dal was. They grappled and even fell to the floor, knocking into Meg's desk. Dal continued to bite Meg and scratch and hit her. After knocking Dal off her several times, she relented. Dal grabbed Meg by the shoulders and looked her in the face. Dal spoke, and Meg understood by reading their lips as Dal overly annunciated and said slowly.

"You die; we can't kill them."

"I don't care, I don't care anymore. There's no point." Meg sobbed in response, turning away from Dal. Dal stepped off Meg, grabbed the cups, and smashed them to the ground. Dal's rage took over as they continued breaking more of Meg's items. Meg didn't attempt to stop them and continued to cry on the floor.

After what felt like every item had been broken in Meg's office, they were surrounded by liquids, powders, and broken glass on the floor. Dal sat in front of Meg again. Dal had never bothered to learn Hand properly and waited for Meg to look them in the face.

"We remember Sal, and those who did this, will remember too." Meg stared back, ignoring Dal's words and only staring into their face.

It was so like Sal's and yet so different. Meg felt no comfort at the similarity and only bitter pain. A pain too familiar to her.

Exactly one month after Hattie told her to wait for information, she approached Meg alone.

"I did it. It took a lot of bribes and may still be rumours, but I think I know." Hattie had said to her. Meg looked confused, having no clue what Hattie was referring to. Hattie rolled her eyes.

"Your sister. I know what happened to her." Meg paused at this, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of her. It took her a long time before she could even think to respond. She swallowed whatever saliva she could, but her mouth felt parched. Her hands are clammy.

"What?"

"Your answer, I found it out."

"Why?"

"You need a goal. You're right; you have nothing. This will give you something. You need to declare your right to revenge."

"But I have debt; it will never be accepted," Meg replied, feeling a bead of sweat forming at the anticipation of the possibility. She had never held out hope for an answer or considered it an option.

"You don't have time to try? What else are you doing that matters? You said it yourself; your whole life is nothing. This could be it, Pigeon. Why continue living if you do not focus on making this right?"

It was harsh but true. Hattie to the bone. Meg considered not asking; she thought she had learned to accept her sister's death. However, this new option to have this information did stir something in her. She didn't realize the possibility of different emotions that having a goal could have. She looked down, thinking. Hattie waited for her to respond.

"You're right, Hattie; this is a chance to have something."

"And it's all the chance you have," Hattie responded, then told her who had led to her sister's death.

Meg and Dal were still on the floor of her office hours later. Meg could feel Dal's seething rage, but they stayed seated with Meg. Meg's tears stopped, and she thought about her sister and all the unfinished work she had left. The sorrow and grief over Sal brought it all back. She was drowning from it. As she had when she had lost each of her family members. Grief was unlike any other pain; you never got used to it.

Meg looked at Dal and knew revenge for Sal would be their mission, but not Meg's. Meg couldn't add more vengeance to her concise list. She also knew she couldn't take it from Dal.

Meg realized that with Granny out and every other Widow no longer in the way, Meg could finally get her revenge. That no clause could get in her way, and she could finally enact her life's mission and eventually end her life.

She thought about the day and gave herself six months to do it. Her newly found resolve helped, but she knew she would need at least a week to grieve before returning to work.

Meg gave a final nod to Dal, communicating to them that she would stay alive. Dal nodded back and let their own tears fall.