yes to heaven - xiaoven ↲⠀✔️⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀

vi. squall and fury

scaramouche
—

kunikuzushi,

i've finally found where you've scurried off to, rat. you haven't done yourself a favor, moving into liyue when you ran away from home. had you admitted your sins, maybe me and miko could've kept you. we didn't expect such promiscuous behavior from our own son. 

i'll come by, sooner or later, to see what type of hellhole you're living in. maybe drop off some of the stuff you left in our hands. miko, for one, doesn't miss you at all. sometimes i'm wary of your absence, but we're fine. after all, you were the one who ran, instead of begging.

—raiden ei

i throw the letter down in a bout of frustration. how dare she just send me a letter like that, and blame everything on me? she was the one who disowned me, threw me and my doll outside, and yelled every bad thing she could think of. but i was the one who ran?

miko is a different story. she always hated me. i could see the disapproval in her purple eyes, the hatred of anything i ever said or brought home. i couldn't stay in inazuma. i fled all the way overseas to liyue, a land of promise and care.

"was it from...them?" xiao asks, picking the paper up.

"yes," i grumble.

it's eight in the morning. a little early, but morning nevertheless. it was very hard to even get a blink of sleep after last night's interesting events.

a knock comes on the door. xiao moves to open it, and i see a purple haired woman with a steely glare, who is very much my mother.

"tut tut, it's been ten years and you still dress like a slut. worthless," she shakes her head, waltzing into the kitchen like it's her own apartment.

"i don't recall inviting you inside, mother," i snap.

"i don't recall teaching you to talk back."

furious tears brim in the corners of my eyes. i blink them back, and my face burns in red, from a multitude of emotions. humiliation, anger, sadness, i don't even know at this point. i hate her so much, she ruined my life.

but in spite of whatever i think, she is still my mother, no?

kazuha and heizou peek their faces out of the door, and ei catches sight of them. i wince as realization hits her face.

"you're living with random strangers?" she snarls, "you left us for these losers?"

"they're not strangers, they're my best friends," i snap. screw respect and manners, because where are her's? waltzing up to our front door, calling my friends strangers, telling me i'm the one who ran.

crack.

my face burns in pain and fury. she slapped me. the same hands that once wiped my tears, are the same hands that just scarred my face. 

tears stream down my face, as i crumble to my knees. all the emotions i never knew i had come pouring out of my eyes. just the sight of her invokes so many bad memories, so much anger, it's a reminder of the past she stripped of me.

"who pays the rent here?" she questions.

"we all do," kazuha replies, before clapping a hand across his mouth. he's drawn unnecessary attention to himself.

"i didn't ask for you to speak, fiend. where are your manners?" she glares at him, "speak your name."

a visible sweat drop falls down kazuha's face, "kaedehara kazuha."

"inazuman? what is it with a sudden string of disappointments from inazuma running to liyue?"

"mother, what do you want from us. we're living a perfectly good life here, away from you," i snarl.

"you're still my son, no matter how disappointing," she rolls her eyes.

"you were the one who disowned me! you kicked me out of the house that night, by miko's suggestion! you're the reason i'm here right now, instead of having a normal life like other people earn!" i wail through my tears. xiao rubs my back.

"that's what you get for being a slut."

i scream. it's a short, pitiful scream, of someone who's been broken so much that being fixed sounds like a fever dream. i hate her. i hate her. i hate her.

"he raped me! you said i came onto him, but no, i didn't! i was eight, mother. eight. you think i knew what rape even was then?" i sob, "he touched me, took away my childhood, and when i came to tell you, all you did was scream at me!"

i wonder what the others think right now. watching my abusive mother show up for no given reason, slap me, and me melting into a mess. they believe that i'm the strongest, that i have something to say no matter what's put in front of me. what do they think now? 

"why should i believe you? you were eight after all, meaning you could've been lying," she doesn't even show a flicker of remorse across her solemn face.

"then go away. if you hate me so much, and think that i'm a whore, then leave! you brought yourself here, and all you're doing is breaking me," i say, my jaw trembling. it's so hard to talk when i cry. the voice doesn't come out of my throat.

i fall to the floor, struggling to breathe. everything's turning black, nothing makes sense, i want to die. my screams fill the kitchen, and mother walks outside.

i see venti tiptoe out and hold xiao's hand in an act of comfort, and he rubs my back.

"goodbye, piece of filth. i hope i never see you again."

i let out one last wail, before everything blacks out.