yes to heaven - xiaoven ↲⠀✔️⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀

vii. demons don't stop for the rain

xiao
—

venti looks at me in a bout of worry, but our attention is diverted to scaramouche when he starts violently shaking in my hands. 

"scara, wake up!" i cry, slapping his back. his eyes flutter open, and he manages to breath out:

"s-some water, please."

kazuha runs and grabs a water bottle for scara, and hands it to him. scara shakingly pours some down his throat, and finally calms down.

"i'm s-sorry guys, i didn't think she'd show up, i've ruined your day, haven't i?" he hiccups in my arms. i've known scara for maybe three days, but i've never seen him this broken. i don't think i'd ever imagine him this broken.

"you're fine, bro. we're not gonna judge you for your mother's shortcomings, you should know that. and anyway, it's fine to break sometimes. we can't just be strong forever, you know," venti says.

scara looks up at him and smiles, wiping his tears off, "thank you, venti. i really do appreciate all you've done."

 venti smiles back. he finally lets go of my hand, and honestly i'm not sure if i wanted him to. his hands are small, and they fit perfectly in my palm. my face heats a little, and scara smirks at me. at this point, i'm pretty sure he can read minds.

heizou sits down next to us and rocks back and forth on his feet. "your mom kinda sucks."

"honestly. both of them sucked, really. the one who showed up was actually the better one," scara explains, sitting up, "they loved each other much more than me."

same, is what i want to say, but i don't think that's what you say to someone who nearly had a seizure from reminiscing over his past trauma. my parents were pretty much the same : negligent, angry, and always ready to kick me out for their own pleasure.

"ahh, i have to get cleaned up. i have to work at the cafe today, xiangling can't let me take any days off this week," scara gets up, "i'll see you rats in the afternoon?"

i hesitate to let him go, he nearly had a seizure, he shouldn't be working, but one look for him is enough for me to know to leave the matter alone.

"absolutely, dumbass," heizou smiles as scara goes to get ready.

"we also have work today. venti, you're the only one off, right?" kazuha says.

"yeah, have fun at the flower shop and library. i only get tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays ehe~" venti exclaims.

"xiao, do you work anywhere?" kazuha asks.

"i was gonna apply, but i never really did. i'll probably help scara at the cafe later on. for now, i'm unemployed," i say. when you phrase it like that, it sounds so weird, but it's the truth. 'student debt and absolutely no motivation to do anything' is my middle name.

"have fun at home then, and don't burn the apartment building down, please," the couple throws their shoes on and walk out the door, hand in hand. i'm alone with my crush. oh boy. was this a set up by scara? i wouldn't even be surprised at this point. my heart races a bit when venti turns to look at me.

butterflies fly around my stomach. it's so cheesy, but looking at him puts me at ease. as long as i have the nocturnal songbird around, i should be fine. what scara's doll is to scara, is what venti is to me. a sign of safety.

"i dunno about you, but i'm hungry," venti yawns, "i can make cereal."

i stiffle a laugh, "i can make microwavable ramen."

"slay. cereal it is," venti laughs, "after all, we don't get any better apartment deals than this one."

venti pulls out a smushed box of lucky charms, and pours milk into some bowls. we're living the high adult life right now. he slides the bowl to me over the counter, and sits next to me.

"why did you move to liyue, venti?" i ask.

"how'd you know i moved?"

"'venti' is a white person name," i shrug. he sighs.

"i didn't really like mondstadt. it was boring, everyone was so 'turn to god, gay people are the devil!' there. i'm bisexual, so living there was going to be a little problematic. and anyway, my family refused to pay for my heart condition, so i had to run away to liyue for proper care."

"heart condition?"

"i have sudden arrhythmic death syndrome. 'sads' for short. i can literally die anytime if my defibrillator stops working."

i stare for a second. that's awful. that means he could just collapse right now, and i wouldn't be able to do anything about it. i have a sudden urge to hug him, but i'm not sure if he'd appreciate me doing that.

"oh. did you have any siblings?" 

"actually, yeah. i had one. his name was mika. he's younger than me by five years. his heart was completely normal. that's why he stayed," he explains. he notices my somewhat sad face, and goes on to add, "it's ok. i keep in touch with mika, i visit him once a year as well. and for my heart, i should be good."

i nod, relief flooding through my chest. i wouldn't want him to die before i confess. that sounds so selfish.

"what about you? any siblings? you're originally from liyue, i presume," he asks.

my name is literally xiao. how could you not know i'm from liyue? it's the most liyue name to ever liyue.

"yeah, i was born here. my sister, ganyu, is four years older than me. she ran away when i was fifteen. she lives in sumeru now, with some other friends. we write to each other as well," i say.

"ahh, ok. i'm mean, it's sad she left, but i'm glad, considering what your parents sound like. i'm glad you left as well," venti smiles.

"of course. one day, when i have enough money for the trip, i'll visit ganyu in sumeru," i say. i miss her so much. she was great, unlike our parents. and so very kind. she accepted me for what i was, not for whatever our parents wanted from me. 

"xiao, if someone told you they liked you, what would you do," he questions, stretching. my eyes widen in alarm.

'i'd tell them i have a huge crush on a person named venti, who's sitting next to me right now, and is one of the prettiest humans alive.' is exactly what i don't say.

"hmm, i'd say i like someone else, or i'm not interested. why?"

"what if i said i liked you?"

i spit my cereal out of surprise, and choke a little.

"i'd say i do too."