The Kind You Save

Chapter 8

Despite his words of warning, Bucky returns the next night. More glimpses of memories had resurfaced after I'd told him of his mother, and he'd come back to see if I could offer more help. He'd left me with the task of finding information on his father and any other family I could manage. It's now Sunday night and I've spent the better part of the day scouring records on the internet for any bit of information that I could give him. Feeling like I've found all I can, I decide to take a quick shower to help me feel refreshed after a long day of research.

Humming to myself, I throw on clean pajamas and head for my living room, drying my soaking wet curls in a towel. Crossing the threshold from one room to the next, I catch a glimpse of something in the shadows of my darkened apartment. Sucking in a sharp breath, my hand flies to my heart but it only takes a split second for my brain to register who it is.

"Oh, it's you. Good," I say, sighing in relief. He steps out of the darkest part of the shadows then, the corner of his lips upturned ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to scare you," he says quietly.

I wave him off. "It isn't you that scares me, just how crazy quiet you are." Though the sight of his formidable figure in the shadows was quite a shock. Tossing the towel into my clothes hamper, I make for the table where all of my notes on his family are and launch into an explanation of all I'd found; maybe a little too eagerly. The look on his face makes me stop.

"I'm sorry," I say, shaking my head, "This is probably a lot, I shouldn't have just dived right in. I was excited." I shrug sheepishly, feeling a little self-conscious.

He stares at me for a breath then shakes his head slowly. "No, it's not that," he says walking toward me and the table now. He stops just in front of me, taking me in for another breath, his brow furrowed.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I don't understand it," he says, looking at the notes in my hand and then back to me. "Why are you helping me?"

Why am I helping him? It's a question I've asked myself multiple times since he'd shown up, telling me of his fleeting memories, nearly pleading for help. My heart had bled for him that night and I'd foolishly told him to stay, that I would help him more if he wanted. Now he's been here multiple times and I've strangely started looking forward to his visits. But why? Why do I want to help a stranger, let alone an assassin, so badly?

I still don't truly know the answer to that question myself. Maybe it's my tender heart or maybe it's something else entirely. I would have to be blind to miss how attractive he is, but it's something more than his looks that seems to draw me in. I stand there for a moment, staring back at his steel blue eyes waiting for my reply.

Feeling embarrassment rise at my own thoughts I try and deflect, cracking a joke. "An assassin broke into my house and asked for help...no smart person with self-preservation in mind would say no." Something in his eyes shifts then, almost seeming like sadness and I realize he doesn't get that I'm teasing him. "I didn't really mean that. I was joking," I explain quickly before shifting my tone to be a little gentler. "I chose to help you and I'm glad to. No one should have to live life without something as precious as their memories."

He takes me in again and opens his mouth to say something but a knock on my door stops him short. His head snaps to the source of the noise. I hold my hands up, sensing he's about to leave. "Wait. Please don't go. It's probably the food I ordered before you got here. I'll send them off quickly and be right back. Please stay there." I turn and head for the door when I'm fully satisfied that he won't disappear the moment I look away.

I open the door with a smile already plastered on my face, expecting a delivery person on the other side but the smile falls immediately as my eyes settle on the man standing there.

"Jack? What are you doing here?"

He raises his brows. "Don't look so disappointed."

I wipe a hand over my face, forcing a smile onto my lips. "I'm sorry, I'm just surprised. I was expecting take-out."

He holds up a plastic bag. "It was on your doorstep when I got here."

"What are you doing here exactly?" I ask, trying my best at nonchalance but it's hard to mask my annoyance.

His eyes move up from my face and drift to the sliver of my apartment exposed through the partially opened door. "I came to see why you weren't answering my calls and avoiding me at work. Thought I'd just stop all the runaround and get straight to it. But I heard you talking to someone before I knocked, so I guess I have my answer." He looks pointedly at me, taking in my still-wet hair from the shower and pajamas. A flash of what looks like anger and jealousy passes over his gaze but before I'm sure it's gone.

How long had he been out here? Hopefully, it was just muffled voices he'd heard and not the actual conversation. Knowing how closely he works with Mr. Pierce it wouldn't be out of the question to say he was part of Hydra.

"Talking to someone?" I say, putting on my best attempt at genuine confusion. "It's just me here. It must've been the T.V. you heard." I fight the urge to cringe. I hate lying and I'm not particularly good at it, but it wouldn't be smart to let him think anyone was here, let alone Hydra's prized assassin. He takes a step closer to the door like he's going to walk in, forcing me to fight down the instinct to step back. My heartbeat speeds a little. If he decides to force his way in, with his large frame against my small size, there would be no way to stop him.

"Well, since you're alone. Do you mind if I come in for a bit?" he asks, his eyes scanning behind me again. Do they suspect I'm up to something and sent Jack to check? Or is he truly this jealous and untrusting? Either way, it would seem my impression of him on that single date was correct.

I hold my ground, gripping the door in my hand, and covertly place a foot behind it for leverage in the event I need it. "Um, actually, I haven't been feeling that well this weekend. You probably don't want to get too close. How about you come back another time?" I throw him a small smile, hoping it looks innocent enough.

He stares at me for a silent moment, then holds out the bag of food. "I get the hint. Enjoy your take-out."

I close and lock the door and watch him leave through the peephole, making sure he's gone before I head for the assassin again. I find him with his back pressed against the wall, ensuring that he was unseen from Jack's vantage point.

"Well, that was close," I say, breathing a sigh of relief. "You hungry?" I smile as I hold up the bag of food. "I ordered extra just in case." He doesn't move, only takes me in silently again.

"I shouldn't be here," he finally says, making to leave.

"Wait, please don't go," I stalk after him, reaching out to stop him. "I haven't even had the chance to tell you what I found. Is Jack a part of Hydra? Is that why you're leaving?"

"He is." He turns to me before I can grab his arm, but he notices my outstretched hand. "You shouldn't be this comfortable with me," he says. I pull my hand back slowly, feeling as if I've just been reprimanded.

"What do you mean?" I ask, looking up at him with wide eyes. I know what he is, and I know he's dangerous, probably more so than I truly realize, but besides his first appearance here I haven't felt afraid around him.

"You should be afraid of me." His eyes are locked onto mine as he answers as if he'd heard my thoughts.

Any person in their right mind would back away slowly after a statement like that from someone like him but I take a step toward him. "I know that, but I'm not. You haven't offered to hurt me once."

"I don't want to," he tells me, clenching his jaw, his voice low. "But if they told me to, I would."

I can only stand there and gape up at him, doe-eyed and silent, unable to form adequate words in answer. He vanishes in a blink, saving me from forming a coherent reply, his words causing a strange pang in my heart.