𝙱𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝙰𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗 (reader x Tom Kaulitz)

Chapter 1

"why did you all of a sudden got so fucking distant?"

"Why did you make me feel something?"

"Why did you say you loved me, when you were going to leave anyway?"

"Why did I fall for a goddamn illusion?"

"Why did I think we will have a future together, when you actually treated me as a joke?"

"why?"

The questions that are still haunting me from the day he left. From the day that everything fell apart. I didn't want him, I needed him. He was someone I could trust with all of my heart, the one that made me feel special, the one that I thought would never betray me...It was just a joke, just an illusion of my stupid mind.

Even tho we were just some dumb 15 years old kids, I thought I found the one who is made for me, but he just left me like I was a piece of nothing, like I was a useless thing.

Now, it's been 3 years since the moment that changed my entire life and my entire mindset. Crying over a boy it's not worth it and I needed some time to understand that.
I had moved from Germany. Everything there was reminding me of that stupid fuck. So now I'm out here in Italy living my best life. I always liked to form lyrics and to sing but my voice wasn't made for that. So now I am a songwriter.

With a little help from my friends that formed a band together, my lyrics were starting to get recognized. Now I'm working with some companies that help me grow and develop more skills and techniques.

"Ughh I hate this" I say, throwing the paper away. "Oh God, please stop doing this. We all know that these are some dope lyrics." the singer that I'm currently working with says while picking up the paper.
"I feel like I'm running out of ideas, I'm gonna head out for a smoke." "Don't take too looong" "yeah, yeah don't worry" I say while picking up my jacket.

I got outside and lit my cigarette. The weather was not very nice, but it was typical of an October day. there was chaos in my mind again. I didn't know what to think first. The tournament that was going to take place in a few weeks, the songs I hadn't written yet, to the fact that everyone was counting on me. All of these things fought in my head, but my mind was only on him again.
"Get over it y/n. So many years have passed. He probably forgot you existed. Probably the others forgot you existed too "
I told myself as I shut the voices with some smoke. I was staring blankly, waiting for inspiration to hit me, to be able to finish this song that I've been working on for months and in the middle of which my inspiration disappeared, but not my feelings yet. all the songs were about him, about how I felt when he left, about everything I've felt since I've known him. oh my god why do I keep thinking about him? What the hell is wrong with me?
"I have to grow up."
I put out the cigarette against the wall of the building where the studio where I spent most of my time was located, then I looked at the big clock of the cafe across the street from the building. 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Despite the crowded hour, the cafe was deserted, only two people were sitting at a table in a secluded corner, but close enough to be able to analyze their features.
Two boys were sitting at that table, one of them had long, dark brown hair and a rather well-built body, and the other was small and blond. they seemed so familiar to me, yet foreign enough. The one with long hair may have felt the fact that I've been staring at them for some time and turned his head towards me and that was the moment I realized who they were. Gustav and Georg, my old friends, but also his friends. I put my hood on my head and quickly returned to the studio.

As I opened the door I could hear them whispering something and I knew they were planning some shit.
“Here they are!” said Enzo, the drummer of the band, in a strange tone. A tone he used only when he wanted to convince me to do something. I knew something was about to happen. I knew he was going to propose something to me.
“What do you want now, Enzo?”
“ Nothing much. I know that you are not a really outgoing person, but tonight is a concert here in Milano and we were just curious if you want to come with us. Like, we just want to spend some time with you.”
“You spend 5 days a week with me.”
“We want to spend some time with you, but not in a studio.” said Luca, the bassist.
“Yes, plus we have V.I.P. tickets and we are going to be the only ones this privilege.” said Lucy
“And what band will play tonight then?”
“Have you ever heard about Tokio Hotel?”
“I’ve never heard of them, if i’m being honest.”
“ You’re a song writer and you’ve never heard of them in your entire life?”
I shaked my head. I’ve never heard of them. But I couldn’t refuse them. They knew that my only plan for that night was to go home and listen to music until midnight.
“Ok, I am coming.”
“Finally, you’re having fun after months of staying in.” said the guitarist, Giulya.
I can't contradict her, she's right. I haven't left that apartment for anything other than work for some time.