Pain: An Ereri Fanfiction

Chapter Three: Loss

Three months later, outside the walls

"Corporal, what do we do?!" Petra yelled behind me, in hopes Levi could hear her. Levi quickened his pace on his horse, and we followed. The female titan was on our tracks, leaving us galloping through the forests in search for an escape.

"We have to keep moving ahead. There's something we need up here," Levi muttered, loud enough so I could hear it.

"Shouldn't we fight it, Corporal? I mean it can't take all of us together," I mentioned.

"No, Jaeger, just no. Glance behind you once in a while." I decided to peek over my shoulder. She was crushing all the soldiers in sight. I turned my head and focused on the road ahead of me, since that was now the permanent target. We kept riding until I saw our green capes peek out through the trees. It was like a forest of Wings of Freedom.
We rode through the trap they had set, and attacked the female titan. They finally captured her, leaving Levi to slow his horse to a trot, then a stop.

"We can now split off successfully. Pick them off one by one, and Jaeger, do not go into Titan-form unless it's absolutely necessary," Levi said. We gave him our hearts and all went in the same general direction, except for Levi, who went back to the trap to see what they're dealing with.

We zoomed through the forest, picking off the occasional 5 meters, and doing our job. Life was yet again pleasant. Until we heard the trap break, of course. The female titan broke loose and was headed straight in our direction.

"Eren, you have to get out of here. She's clearly after you, so we'll hold her off," Petra said to me. I wasn't close to the others so I probably wouldn't have followed orders if they gave them to me, but I trusted Petra.

"Are you sure?" I asked. Maybe, she was going after all of us, but I'm pretty sure that is naive of me.

"Yes." I hesitated leaving, but they seemed so secure, so I fled to a tree to observe and make sure they are actually alright. They weren't alright. They were all dead in a matter of a minute. I screamed after them, and with a bite of a thumb, it was time and I was gone.

* * *

I'm trying to regain my memory. I remember marching back to the wall with hundreds of casualties, dazed out of my mind. I remember Mikasa freaking out after cutting me out of my second body. Levi has a broken ankle I do believe. I sat up from my bed and went into instant tears. There was no noise outside, like there usually was. They were all dead, on account of me leaving and not saving them through my built in weaponry.

I stood and walked outside. I saw Hanji on the ground, curled up, head in between her chest and knees. I walked up to her and she lifted her head. Tears littered her glasses like raindrops would during a storm.

"Hey there, Jaeger," she said weakly, "Levi won't come out of his office and I tried to make food and ended up burning it in between sessions of serious depression, so it's just going to be you and me today."

"Hanji, do you think it'll be alright if I tried to weed him out?" I asked with curiosity.

"I mean you can try, but he's still upset about you losing control in your form." I nodded slightly and turned toward his office and began to walk.

"Good luck!" Hanji yelled behind me.

I approached his office, snuck past the window and knocked on his door.

"Go away, brat," Levi growled. I was taken aback, but then knocked again. This wasn't Levi.

"I said go the fuck away!" I wouldn't take it as an answer. I opened the door and walked in. With a sharp turn, he tackled me in an instant. He was intense, and grabbed me by the collar.

"Shitty brat, I-I-I s-said go-" Levi collapsed. He was exhausted and tears escaped his eyes slightly.

"Corporal?" He propped up on his elbows and got up and sat next to me.

"I'm not weak, Jaeger," he murmured, "I'm supposed to protect those under my troop name. I'm supposed to make sure that we win with minor casualties. I lost all of them. Every last goddamn one of them!" He stood up quickly and threw a nearby chair against a wall.

"You didn't lose me, though."

"Yes, I didn't lose you, but I had to plead to Erwin not to kill you because you lost fucking control out there and I couldn't lose you as well. You're a poison to me, Jaeger. I care about you and that's the first time I've broken my training. I'm not supposed to care about somebody on personal levels but I do. It's because you care about us and are willing to sacrifice yourself when I don't have the guts to do so myself. So Jaeger, bravo, you made it, but you've ruined my life in the process," Levi lectured me. It was a thousand daggers through the chest. I just got up and left, turning away from him.

"Eren!" I heard Levi shout behind me. This is the first time I'lll break my training.