COMPLETE🤍 #1 in TOXIC SERIES
"When they ask you why you love the rain, the ocean, the river, tell them it is because to touch you; even when you were at your most damaged and broken. Unlike the people who should have loved you better, the water wa...
He isn't my Peter kavinsky or Hardin Scott...he is my very own Mr Asher Khan.
IRA'S POV
It's been two days since I lost my ammi, death a five letter word and holds so much power over everything that exists on this earth. Ammi was fighting with the disease all alone and never even tried to share with me. I cannot forget the day..when she left me..I mean how could I? She was dying daily, her health was deteriorating, she was not even able to get up or walk properly. It felt like little by little the life inside her was getting dim. She was tired with the disease the only thing that gave a look of satisfaction on her pale face was my nikaah. She was thinking that she is dying peacefully by fulfilling her daughter's marriage and her daughter is happy now. There's only one thing she used to say during her last days that death is going to take her to another star.
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But how will I live here all alone on my own. Asher and my relationship has no hopes of getting back to normal. I mean we are just pretending to be husband and wife when we aren't one, even if on a few days I start to feel that no this isn't a toxic date or fake marriage just to bear each other, it's something more sacred and pure than love, just so better than the word love itself that I can't find an adjective to define it...the very next day something happens, we fight and I have to forget all this, I have to come out of my bubble and face the reality. Which is that Asher and I have different paths. Only if I could have shared it with you Ammi, that I ain't happy. That the love you think I will get from this marriage is something I am not receiving. I had lived like this just to make sure you are always at comfort. Everything I did in life was because I felt the need to give you the best because you did your best for me.
I can't believe that you are no longer around me, I can't feel anything. How can someone who gives us life leave us all alone in this world. Ammi you brought me into this world, you have gifted me this life and now you aren't here anymore. Isn't it strange we all come here to fulfill our part and the day it's over we unite with the lord. Death is such a scary yet deep topic someone who was just infront of you will not be there anymore, seems like you lost them for forever, you will not able to see that face anywhere apart from the pictures in stack. Life is a scary thought when we know one day we have to die. A person disappears for forever, will never come back. What does that person feel in those initial last moments? Do they know that they will not be here within the next few seconds? Do they know they will leave this planet and here all we think about is where are they? Where did they go? We don't know anything about death, such a mystery. Ammi left me, where is she? ...where would I look for her now?...she is not here on this planet. We are living because one day we have to die. In these past two days everytime I wake up at night, my eyes looking for my ammi and then again I face the reality, that she is gone. She wouldn't come back.
I am scared, i am alone...I am shattered. My ammi ..my mother is no more by my side. Who will i run to in the phase of pain and plight. Where had she gone? Why will she never return...it seems strange how a person who was there with me till now, suddenly and silently left my side. All I am left with is her memories. Did my ammi knew that where is she going? Did she ?
