ONE LAST CHANCE | Draco Malfoy

chapter 33

DRACO'S POV:

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Astoria is gone. Christmas holidays are over what means that the two schools head back onto their own paths again. That was why I needed to get out of school yesterday night. The two other schools left yesterday night when Roselee and I were eating out. I just couldn't bring myself to go and watch how she flew off and left me all over again. I had to get out of school and get my mind free from it. And then Roselee was around, so I came up with the first idea that she would play along with. A date.

It felt so wrong seeing her in that stupid restaurant and not Astoria as I was used to. I remember bringing her there for the first time. She was wearing the most beautiful dress I've ever seen. Her hair was put up in the most beautiful hairstyle and her eyes were glowing out of pour excitement.

I tried to find that glow in Roselee yesterday, but it wasn't there. I mean sure, it was there on her side. Her eyes were sparkling, her lips never stopped smiling this gentle smile of hers. But from me? There was nothing. No true smile, no excitement at all. I just wanted it to be over quicker. She was all nervous, ready to panic and I, I felt nothing. Well, at least I felt a little relieve at the fact that I didn't need to see Astoria leave. I don't even know if Roselee knew that the two other schools were leaving that night. Would she still say yes to the date if she knew? She probably would.

"She just— started to freak out." I tell Pansy. I came to her room this early morning because I just couldn't hold it inside of me any longer. I needed to talk about it to someone. And in cases like that, I usually choose Parkinson. We know each other since childhood, I know I can trust her. She's the only person that knows everything. Everything about Astoria, everything about me, about my family. Perhaps nobody knows it, but we actually are quite close and that's why it doesn't feel so foolish, asking her for advice when I need it, what is too rare anyways. Plus, she is probably the only person I would actually listen to.

"Hold on what? Why would she just simply freak out? Did you do something?" She asks full of concern as I sit down on her bed where she is seated just as well.

"No," I sigh out. "It's just..." I can't form my words.

Pansy waits for me to open up patiently. That's another factor why I trust her and come to her to talk; because she doesn't push me into it.

Another groan leaves my mouth as I click my tongue. "She asked me to do it without the condom but I— jeez I told her that we couldn't do it because I had sex with somebody else after the last time I had it with her without one."

Pansy stares at me wide eyed. She takes a moment to swallow and then looks back up at me. "You two already had sex without a condom? Draco you know that it's—"

"I know. It was an accident. I was drunk and we only noticed afterwards. But she's on the pill and I got her that potion." I explain, nodding and avoiding meeting Pansy's eyes.

I sense her calm down a little while she nods as well. "Second thing, you had sex with somebody else?When? With who? Why Draco?"

I start to bite on my inner cheek, shaking my head in frustration. "I don't know why. I got drunk and jeez— I missed her. Fuck— Pansy I just missed her so much."

She stares at me. "Astoria?"

My fists clench at her name as I nod. "I didn't go there for sex, I swear. Fucking hell sex wasn't even considered. I just— the alcohol and then I found myself at her door. And she looked so beautiful. She let me in and I just wanted to hold her. At least for a little while. God, all I wanted was to feel her touch again, hear her voice." I fall back against the headboard of the bed, covering my face with my arm because I'm simply so pathetic. "I just miss her."