Let's Talk About...

here, have this

i wrote this in 30 minutes for my creative writing class as an exercise where i could not go back and edit it at all

i am telling you right the fuck now that it is absolute shit so i figured i would share it because why tf not

it's based on the prompt: The most important game of rock paper scissors of the character's lifetime and a portal to another world

except, guess what? i barely got to the main parts of each prompt because i only had 30 fucking minutes

so, enjoy this unedited mess that i will literally never touch again.

-

They said that to defeat the evil incarnate, one would need to be strong and brave and fearless. One would need to learn to fight and learn the ways of magic and traverse across a multitude of lands.

To which I say: Ummmm... nah.

Look, the entire idea that I would become a huge and powerful hero is utter nonsense. Roll credits. Close the curtains. Turn on the obnoxiously bright lights. The show literally never existed, so go away now, please and thank you.

But, logically, why would things go the way I want them to? I mean, why wouldn't some god try and carry their entire soul inside of my body? Why wouldn't I be the weird reincarnation thing of this god?

However, unlike the god that currently resides in my soul doing nothing, I actually have something other than showy powers to my name. That's right folks, I have a functioning brain. Yes, I ignore it, like, 99.999% of the time. But, riddle me this: Does it matter?

No. The correct answer is no.

But, you, my dear reader, have no idea what's happening. In fact, you don't even know who I am! You probably don't even live in the same realm as me and this was probably published as fiction (do me a favor, and tell everyone this is fiction). So, allow me to explain--Oh, or worldbuild, if you will.

Hi. I'm Noah Sampson I'm a human...I think. Actually, I'm not sure. We'll get back to that.

One day, when I was, like, 12, I opened a door. That's it. I went up to a door and opened it. I don't remember where or when, but one day there was a door in front of my face and the next step--if there was a door in front of you--would be to open that door.

And before you ask: No the door did not look old and magical. It was not made of dark oak and it did not have engravings from hundreds of years ago. It was a boring white door.

So, I open the door and some dude walks out of it. Now this guy was very clearly not human; in fact, I tought they were Satan (they weren't). They were about 10 feet tall and has pitch black skin that seemed to ebb and flow like mist, yet it felt like shadow. They had ragged horns spouting out of their head twisting in every direction and a face unlike any animal I had ever seen. Their face was fixed in a snarl and their eyes were blazing red--both literally and from something I hadn't quite understood at the time. They looked down at me, and just stared before slowly lowering themselves.

Now don't judge me, alright. It was fight, flight, or freeze. You know what I did? I froze. And you know what? I have no shame. Leave me alone.

They reached my height and looked me in the eyes. I was crying and shaking, but I don't remember feeling any of that until they spoke.

"Be at ease," they said. Their voice was deep and raspy. It was terrifying and powerl, but somehow, innately comforting. They raised their shadow hand to my shoulder. "My vessel."

Now, I found this peculiar. I watched Insidious exactly one (1) time by that point, and I did not exactly want to become a demon vessel. So, I, very bravely, said, "W-what?" My voice was shaking and whiny.

"You will be my--"

A surge of light appeared from behind the open door. It transformed into a blade and stabbed the creature. They let out an ungodly scream that caused me to fall. I managed to regain some of my sense and started crawling backward, but I was transfixed on the creature dying in front of me. They looked at me again and I was suddenly unable to move. I tried to. I really, truly, tried to move. To speak. To do anything. Alas, something was stopping me.

The Satan-looking-dude began to ascend, slowly becoming the shadow I had initially mistaken it for. "You are my vessel," they said.

The shadow surrounded me, engulfing me in pure darkness. Then, there was pain. Burning, crippling pain going down my throat which instantly went hoarse. My arms and legs felt like they were being ripped apart and my stomach was like it was bathed in flames and something was crushing my skull in while someone else was choking me. I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think.

Then in an instant it was over and I knew where I was. The door was still there, standing without any hinges in the middle of a forest. In the opened door stood a man with pointed ears. I remember thinking he looked just like Link with the blond hair and tanned skin. The thought vanished quickly, however, as their eyes were pure white.

He looked down on me and drew that blade of pure light that had killed the creature before. "Surrender, child."

I blinked. "Um." Oh look at that, I could now speak.

Allow me to detail to you my goals as a 12-year-old:

Be a menace to society

That's it. Those were my goals.

"Why should I?" I asked, because that was the most logical thing to do in that situation.

"You hold the spirit of Darkness in you. Surrender now, and you will be spared."

"How is that my fault? Like, what did I do?" I asked, which was valid.

"You are confused. That is normal. We can save you from the spirit of Darkness, or kill you. It is your choice."

Somehow, I knew what I had to do. I did not know who this man was, but I knew of the vow that he would be unable to break. "Rock, paper, scissors," I said. "If I win, I do whatever I want. If you win, then I surrender. I make the Magick's Vow."

He agreed.

-

hi i'm back.

not entirely sure what a MaGiCk'S vOw is, but whatever, who needs worldbuilding.

the whole this is 998 words which is pretty good and shows that this exercise would be good in the future for having word dumps,