The First Snow - WooSan

Chapter 25

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Wooyoung felt his heart thumping inside his chest and his palms getting sweaty. Why was he nervous to see San struggling to voice out what was in his mind, as if there is something specific Wooyoung wanted to hear San say to him?
Maybe he did.
He patiently waited for the older boy to break the silence.

"Wooyoung-ah..", San started hesitantly.

"Will you be the model for my clothing designs at the competition?", San asked in a small voice with so much hope filled in those words.

Wooyoung's eyes widened. It surely wasn't the question he expected to hear from his best friend. It definitely wasn't. He froze for a moment before San continued to explain his request.

"I know it's a lot to ask. But, I would love to do this together with you", San smiled so softly.

"You don't have to push yourself to do it if it makes you uncomfortable. I respect your decision. I just thought of asking you now, so you have enough time to give it a thought", San tried his best not to make the younger feel burdened with his request.

Wooyoung was still trying to find his words to answer the latter. He had already promised himself to be by San's side to help his best friend with anything and everything that lead to his happiness and success. But now, the only thing that was barricading his promise was his own insecurities.

"Sannie, I would love to. But- ", Wooyoung got stuck with his words.

"-Why me?", He continued to ask in disbelief.

"What do you mean?", San tilted his head in doubt.

"I mean- you know-, you know that who ever is going to be the model for your designs will be the one others going to see as your representative and- and it has an huge impact on how others will see your work and how they will vote for your work", Wooyoung struggled to voice his concerns with out hurting San's feelings.

"Yes Young-ah, I know that. That is why I want you to be the representative of my work",  San responded brightly with a spark of excitement in his eyes.

"But, what if I let you down? What if I screw thing up. I am not good enough to help you Sanni. I look like nothing that could help you".
The spark in San's eyes dimmed in an instant. His heart dropped to hear Wooyoung talking so small of himself.
He turned Wooyoung to face him with his hands on his shoulders.

"Hey, look at me", San said so calmly.

"What makes you think like that, Woo? Why would you think that you will mess things up?", He asked with a smile, so the other will find it comfortable enough to open up.

"Because- I know I will make your work look bad on me. I am no way near a person that could be a model San. Not even for a day. What if I make your designs look bad and make you lose just because of that? I won't forgive my self if that happens. I want you to win", Wooyoung said in one breath, fiddling with the hem of his sleeve.

He was avoiding to look at San's face. He felt terrible at how he was not being helpful at the moment, letting his anxiety take over his whole body.

San moved one hand to cup the younger's face. Wooyoung looked up to meet San's eyes, melting to the small touch.
San remained silent for a moment, looking deep into the other's eyes. So much was going through his head that he didn't know where to start.

"You know what Young-ah? As soon as I knew that I will be needing a model, the very first person that popped into my mind was you. Even though I tried to think of any other options, I couldn't think of a better person that I want to work with, other than you. For me, you are the perfect match for this job Wooyoung. You are smart, handsome, beautiful both inside and out and most of all, you are my best friend. I know you are going to be one of those reasons that will strengthen me to make it through this. Even though you don't realise it, You are so much more than you think , just like I always say. You are just perfect the way you are, Wooyoung. I believe in you and I will prove it to you", San's thumb gently caressed the younger's cheek.

Wooyoung wanted reassurance all the time and San very well knew it. He also knew it wasn't Wooyoung's fault that he had to experience a whole lot of things in the past that made him lose his confidence and end up being anxious about everything he gets involved with.
That is exactly why he wanted to help Wooyoung to overcome his insecurities and make him realise that he is nothing less than a capable, lovable and precision human being.

Wooyoung carefully listened to each and every word the older let out through his lips.
His head felt too muddled to utter a single word. Instead, he closed his eyes and leaned into San's touch.
His heart ached at how much the older was trusting him. He was in pain that he couldn't muster up courage to answer him right away.
San knew how the younger was feeling. So instead of rushing  him, he patiently waited.

After a moment which felt like forever, Wooyoung opened his eyes. He moved his cold hand to place on top of San's warm hand that cupped his face, and brought it down to intervene their fingers.

"I'll do it. For my best friend", Wooyoung said before taking a deep breath and smiling San's worries away.

"Thank you Young-ah!", San said squeezing the younger's hand.
He was fighting his urge to peck the younger's cheek out of happiness. It's true he did kissed the smaller boy's forehead once while he was a sleep. But he wasn't plucky enough to do it while Wooyoung was wide awake, smiling brightly in front of his own eyes like the sun on a summer sky.

"It's gonna be okay. Don't feel burdened even for a second. I am always there with you. Let's do this together Wooyoung. Let's beat Eric and make him and Solar regret every single rude word they threw your way. Okay?", San said never letting go of the younger's hand.

"I can't be grateful enough to you for fighting for me San. I feel like I am the most loved person in the world right now", Wooyoung sounded both happy and sad as he said.

"Get used to that, bestie. Because that's how you will be feeling everyday as long as I am going to be by your side", San giggled.

'Bestie', that word had started to sound awkward in San's head for a while. Specially when he used it up on Wooyoung. But calling each other best friends was San's only way of hiding the love he had for the younger when ever he felt like he was exposing himself too much.
And why is that you may ask? 
The fear of getting rejected, that's what it was.

Even though that feeling of fondness was mutual in the younger's heart, his insecurities always held him back from being open about it. To tell San how much he loves the older boy, how much he makes him feel like he finally found his happy place; his home.

Wooyoung mentally hit himself on the head for thinking that San was going to confess him. To tell him that he wanted to be more than friends. That he wanted to take a step ahead to become those people who can openly tell their friends that they were correct. That they love each other.
Or maybe it's just his mind playing games with him to make it seem like San likes him back. He was devastated to the max, but was good at hiding it; at least for now.

At this rate, it looked as if only a miracle could help to knock some sense to their heads to make them realise how oblivious they are.
But, does miracles like that ever happen? Maybe they do.

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16/05/2023