Hidden behind the mask

"I'm sorry"

Imagine going through a lot in two weeks then receiving news ontop of what you cannot process.

Imagine the shock, you half cry and feel half numb not knowing what to do.

Imagine exiting the car for a breather that you collapse and pass out,
not being able to feel your entire left arm, complete numb.
Breathing in and out so heavily questioning your own sanity and what the f**k is happening...
on the ground.
Your partner hopping out faster than anything to pick you up and telling you,
"I'm sorry", holding you tightly in tears,
and making sure you're okay despite anything.

After being able to finally get up and sit in the car in freeze mode.
Remembering the sorry you received before you left the car, the sorries when he held you, the sorries inside the car.
Never have I ever heard him apologise that many times so genuinely ontop of that... tears in his eyes.
It broke my heart to see him this upset.
Oh! my heart!

I turned to him finally after the shock eased,
I gently wiped his tears though he could not look at me.
I don't know what was gonna happen,
I was wiping his tears like it would be my last time.
I held his forearm reassuring him I'm still gonna be there for him until my last breath.
I said "Hunny no one is perfect",
as I looked away in tears.

At that point what he did...
no longer is a hurt to me,
seeing him vulnerable was what hurt me,
seeing him in tears was what hurt me.
All I wished at that time was to...
take on all his pain so he did not have to carry it.
I did not wanna see him hurt.
My heart was complete pierced seeing him that way.
I love you my darling, always.
No one is perfect my beloved.

- Deep thought girl writes