finding the stars- hawk x female reader

chapter 3

"I did crave attention, but I refused to humiliate myself by asking for it." - Ottesa Moshfegh

"Why are you always wearing those ugly sweaters?"

Eli turned his head to the right.

A girl with dirty blonde hair lifted her pencil to her chin. She pointed towards Eli's sweater and scrunched up her nose in distaste.

Eli didn't respond. Instead, he lowered his head and shrugged his shoulders. Suddenly the math equations in front of him became more interesting than before.

Eli's heart sank deeper into a pit of loneliness and insecurity as the girl's words lingered in the air.

The weight of his scar, both physical and emotional, had always burdened him. The girl's comment cut through his fragile armour, exposing the vulnerability he fought so hard to hide.

Throughout his childhood, Eli had endured countless surgeries, each leaving its mark on his lip. The sweater became his shield, his sanctuary from the prying eyes and judgment of others. But with each taunt, the seams of that shield began to unravel, leaving him exposed to the world's cruelty.

The days grew colder, mirroring the chill in Eli's heart. He found solace in the isolation of his room, the walls adorned with drawings and dreams that dared not venture beyond their paper confines. The sweaters became an extension of his identity, a silent testament to the battles he fought and the scars he carried.

At school, the teasing continued, seeping into every interaction like venom. Eli felt himself shrinking, his once vibrant spirit dimming under the weight of their words. He longed for acceptance, for someone to see beyond the surface and recognize the strength within him.

Sure he had Demetri, but Eli always felt like that would be it.

Demetri would be the only friend Eli would ever have.

It was almost like some days he had accepted that he would only ever be confined to one person.

And he knew that it should be enough. That Demetri should be enough to satisfy his social life, but it just wasn't.

༶•༶•༶

"I'm so sorry- are you alright?"

It's her.

The girl from next door.

She's even prettier up close.

Eli looked down at the ground just as her pretty light brown eyes met his blue ones.

I hope she didn't see my scar.

"No, I'm sorry that was my fault- I wasn't looking where I was going." Truthfully, Eli wasn't looking where he was going. He never liked walking with his head held high. Mainly because he didn't want to attract attention to the worse part of his face.

"I guess it was both our faults." The girl before him laughed, and shifted her weight onto one foot. Eli caught a glimpse of this as he was looking at the ground. He took notice of her shoes. They were Mary Jane's and they matched her outfit perfectly.

Wait.

Eli finally looked up. They both had the same sweater on.

The girl must have noticed this simultaneously because her expression moulded into a big smile. "I like your sweater."

Eli froze. He had never been complimented on his fashion choices. He glanced down at the ground once more before mentally slapping himself.

A pretty girl is talking to him, he might as well try and make conversation instead of acting like a loser.