I wanted you to see what real courage is; instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked no matter what. And seeing it through anyway.
❁
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I wake up to the sound of Anidori's usual trill of: "It's going to be a big, big, day!" which for me translates into. "One more day gone before you have to entertain people with your imminent death."
I dreamed of Claudia last night. I was back home, and my mother was there, too. The house was dark, and I had lost them. All of the sudden, I had seen huge tentacles come out of the ground and I woke up. I had known I had been dreaming. I always did before. I could make the dream go on, letting myself drift into the peaceful subconsciousness. But now I didn't want to, Now I wanted to wake up, and it kept getting harder and harder to. Now, instead of feeling a little sad when my dreams were over, I felt relief. Bye-bye childhood. I guess the Hunger Games is a game that keeps on taking.
Razo apparently has me and Caspian alternating between him and for Anidori lessons. 4 hours with one, and the 4 with the other. I can't imagine what Anidori will have to teach me that could take four hours, but she's got me working down to the last minute. We go to my rooms, and she puts me in a full-length gown and high-heeled shoes, not the ones I'll be wearing for the actual interview and instructs me on walking. The shoes pinch my heels and I complain. A lot. I've never worn high heels, and I'm use to the soft, comfortable sole of my hunting boots. Besides, even though I'm short my legs are kind of long. But Anidori wears nothing but high heels on her feet, and I'm not going to let some idiotic capitol person out-do me. My dress keeps tripping me, so I hitch it up above my ankles, causing Anidori to swat my hand away.
"Not above the ankle!" she exclaims.
When we're done with walking, there's posture, etiquette, and decorum. According to Anidori, I have a tendency to say whatever I feel like saying. If only she knew.
"You must have a good conversation with your interviewer! Not your normal ramblings and jokes! They'll think you're barbaric and plotting your murder most likely." she says.
I roll my eyes. "Don't worry, no one plans murder out loud."
"That's exactly what I mean! You must not, and I mean never! Say things like that! Even when you disagree!"
"That." I sardonically reply.
I think she's going to jump me, but she forms a small, tight smile on her face. "See, I'm smiling right now, and you're making me very upset."
