Pain Reliever

Forever & Always

Enjoy

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She slammed onto his door, knocking so hard that even the heavens could hear it. Her breathing was growing heavy and she clenched her teeth as she knew he was in his house probably without a care as if he wasn't the worst human in her book. She was beyond furious. She was a whole new person.

The door opened, and there stood a confused man as he stared down at the girl. He wondered how the hell she was here. Why was she at his door? He never told her to come. He saw the state she was in, and his concern grew by a ton.

"What are you-", he began. The girl immediately cut him off.

"What is wrong with you?" She screamed in his face. He grew shocked at her outburst. He then realized her reason for all this anger.

"Listen, I'm really sorry. Things just got in the way, and...", he trailed off. He didn't know how to explain the whole year to her. It's not that it was eventful, it was that there was nothing to tell. He couldn't admit that.

"Was there never time? Was one second out of your day so bad to be wasted? For me?" Her voice was slowly decreasing its volume, as she gained control of her emotions.

"It wasn't that. I promise." He threw his hand in his hair, and raked it back. He let out a breath, agitated and frustrated. He never expected this to happen.

"How could you? You led me on, for no reason, and left! You f*cking left!" She controlled her breathing and shouted once more. "There is no excuse! Bonfires? Dog-sitting? What else, huh? Oh yeah, getting a goddamned tattoo! Seems like your friggin' life is all dandy!" She threw her arms in the arm and her face grew extremely grim.

"So why...why would you leave me?" Her voice sounded so hurt.

"You don't understand, it just wouldn't work. Everything was going downhill, and nothing benefitted from us even talking. Why couldn't you see that on your own? You're here yelling at me like this is all my-"

"I loved you!"

"Well I did all I could-"

"You did what exactly, huh? Tell me! Tell me all the miraculous things you did for your "babe"." Her eyes narrowed at him, and she gave the most menacing sneer she could pull.

He stared back and narrowed his eyes. "What are you implying?"

"What is there to imply?! Did you lie to your parents and lose their trust? Did you stay up late worrying about the person you loved and waited for one message? Did you have breakdowns blaming yourself over all the sh*t's that happened? Did you even have to avoid the polices involvement?!" He stared at her in shock. He didn't know what to say. A minute passed of silence.

"Well tell me! Did you! I sure as hell did. I cared so much. I cared so goddammed much." Her voice broke and she was beginning to shed tears the more she spoke.

"I can never take all that back. My parents will never trust me again. I will never move on from all the hurting. I will never get back those restless nights. I will never take back all my precious tears. I will never know the true feeling of love. Gone. It's all gone." Her tears were rushing so fast down her cheeks and her head was closing again. Her heartbeat was picking up again. Her legs were shaking. Her lips felt numb. "Because of you." She sobbed out. She jabbed her finger in his direction.

"Please listen to me. I never meant for these things to happen. I even warned you to be extra careful. Please stop crying. You're killing me here, do you know how guilty you're making me feel?!" His voice picked up also.

"I'm killing you here?! You killed me for months! Every single day you killed me. You took my breath away, and not because of your love. You took my breath in the way where I was suffocating at night, and I prayed that I would never ever remember you. You were in my head all day long, not in the way where I enjoyed it, but I suffered every time I thought of you. You kept me up at night, not in the loving way, but in the way one person has after they watched a horror movie. You killed me and resurrected me just for my torture. And you didn't even know it." She was out of breath as she jabbed her finger at him.

"I loved you. Forever and always." He started. He looked at her, and she let him continue.

"I loved you so much that it felt wrong to love someone that much. It felt like I had to leave before you latched on. Even as friends, it wouldn't work. There would still be a tension."

"Do you hear yourself." She asked more as a statement than a question.

"You tell me this months later? I updated you on everything, and you think everything will be resolved months later? I don't even care if you dare to apologize. Say sorry all you want. Maybe you'll feel the desperation I did."

"But I loved you-"

"Yeah? Well I hate you. Forever and always." She said and walked away from his house. It was harsh, but it was the truth. She hated him. She didn't disrespect whatever he wanted to do further in his life, but she hated what he had done to her. Therefore, she found a reason to hate him. A very well reason, in her opinion.

Years later, she found the better in everything. There was nothing wrong with hate, as to there was nothing wrong with love. They both needed each other in order to live. In order to thrive.

Years later, he found a lesson in everything you've gained and lost. There was nothing wrong with losing someone, as to having someone. When life falls right into place, it will be for the better, coincidence or not coincidence.

She attended college in the states for eight years, and then an additional four more in London. She loved school, despite her years of feeling stupid, and wanted to explore more. She explored not only places, but different events in her life. To the point where she found love. He was a strong, funny, handsome man. They had known each other before, and now that they were reunited in London, they knew it was fate. After her years of schooling, and his of hard work, they married, and moved to Australia to raise a potential family there.

He successfully graduated his years of college, and became a Computer Engineer.  Despite his father wanting him to inherit the company, the protests led for him to support his son. He believed that his son's life would be better off if he did what he loved. He travelled the country spreading his own innovations and met back with a high school sweetheart, connecting from blasts to the past.

They both lived the life they needed- not wanted- and were completely satisfied. There were a whole lot of bumps, but there was always the silver lining. They carried on in their lives, but that didn't mean they forgot about each other. Occasionally, they remembered about some conversations or topics they talked about. The good memories.

She hated him, and he lost her, but that was okay. They respected what would happen in the long run, and they forgave their pasts. He had his own life, and she had hers. But at the end of what happened between them both, there was never one regret meeting each other, and there never should be. Because in the end, we don't reminisce upon what's behind us, but what we forwardly. What's forwardly has a journey that never ends-

Forever and always.