Besabriyan

11|ELEVEN

Her eyes woke to the realization that haunted her even in sleep. Her eyes, moving around to take a close look at her room. It was empty and cold even when the balcony door was bolted and she was packed under two layers of comforters. It was dark even though a lamp on the other end of her room still glowed prominently like the moon out there in the sky. Looking around, she tried to get a hold of her phone to know the time and the moment her feet were pulled away from under the quilts, the coldness spread through her feet. She hated getting cold and she hated how cold Islamabad could get during winters.

Last night, she was able to rest her thoughts and sleep and even though it was for a little while, she could get a peaceful sleep so that she wouldn't be cranky for the next twenty-four hours. Her mami jaan took care of most things with her husband before she returned home after aiding Zaviyar. Abul Kashem Ahmed was cold to none in fact he was the warmest man she had ever met in her life, now being backed up by Zaviyar. Rayyan and his mother had returned to their room to stall it for the whole night and she knew they were planning to blow her up in the morning. She looked to the side drawer and sighed before going to sit on her desk.

Rayyan wasn't nice but he wasn't bad either. He was one of the most average men one could find on the streets of Pakistan– filled with pride and ego. However, she had been naive to her khala by not realizing her true intentions. It's not as if she held something against them, it's just that Rayyan seemed to have changed from what he used to be in his teenage years; now a little brooding and arrogance began to take over him whenever his pride was at risk. It was best to end it before her khala decided to go ahead but thankfully her mother wasn't home.

At this rate, I'm going to lose my mind.

And she would, had she continued to be sandwiched between two men. Her eyes shrunk when the screen of her laptop arose from dead and stared back at her. The themed wallpaper, particularly meeting her aesthetic, waved at her as she entered her password to unlock it. If she couldn't sleep, she could at least put her brain to use. Maheen was supposedly preparing for a new book- one that she would begin working on once her exams were over and for which she had been writing excerpts and scenes for weeks. That night when she found Zaviyar on a stroll- it was when she began writing them and it, coincidentally, happened to be the one with eyelocks.

That night as though it was imprinted on the walls of her heart that no matter how hard she forced herself to forget it, she remembered the look that she saw on his face vividly. Opening a blank document, she began to jot down the elements that were to be added to the book. Her heart pumped louder when she recalled that this might be the last book she ever wrote before she retired to do something more solid- a job that would pay her enough to support her mother and daji. After about three hundred words, she yawned and she knew she needed coffee or chai to have herself working for the rest of the night before it dawned.

"Tum mana kar sakti thi." Maheen almost skipped a few stairs and fell face-first but held onto the railing. Rolling her eyes and bracing herself for another round of nonsense, she turned around to find Rayyan standing seven steps away from her.

"Kaise karti? Isse pehle ke mujhe samajh me aata and main kuch karti, tumhari ammi mujhe ring pehna chukin thi." She exclaimed, bringing her dupatta over her torso when a wave of cold air brushed past her skin.

"Sahi kehte hain. Aurat ki koi apni zaban nahi hoti jaise uske paas khud ki awaaz nahi hoti," She took a pregnant pause as she stared at him, masking her amusement. Her eyes examined every inch of his bruised forehead and cheeks. She really did feel bad for him when he was on the ground under Zaviyar and receiving punches but now that she had been hearing his nonsense, it did feel like he deserved it. Her mind, screaming for even caring for him- for considering giving in to the arrangement her khala made but looking at the colorful vocabulary and wishful thinking, she knew she was better off alone than to be with a man who would treat her nothing more than a lowly creature.