Besabriyan

32|THIRTY TWO

Maheen Layah Kamran was quick to realize the reason behind the emptiness she had been feeling since she broke up with him at her place- she was adamant in defying the truth, she was adamant in defying the universe's law; no one was to live a better life after bringing someone's loving heart to ruins. She was paying back for what she did to the man who was ready to shower her with love and give her the world and beyond. Retributions, at times, were emotional and it clawed slowly until the person was completely ruined.

Revelations from Aahil were running in her mind like a broken record- things that she hadn't heard of and things that she would have never known if it wasn't for him. She would have been a coward who only catered to her husband's requirements and needs to heal him if she hadn't been pushed further into his life and opened a new wound in front of her. The images she pictured in her head were so agonizing that she winced- the layers her husband had were slowly shedding and his bleeding wounds were now visible, however, it would take so much effort to heal the ones she caused. How big of a lie that would have been to shut her husband. How big of a lie would it be that made her husband want to turn to the only person, he thought, could take him out of the darkness. How big of a lie that would have been to make him become a person who held silence like a sword.

Noorul Ain flew into Islamabad last night- that was the only information she could get before she was hurled into the car. Like a moth attracted to flames, Maheen couldn't refrain from asking to join him when he said he was leaving to pay a visit to the funeral of an employee who passed away a few hours ago. He was hesitant to take her but she was too scared to be left alone at home though his mother and sister were more than welcoming. Ali Dawar sahb could come home and throw her out any moment. Ali Dawar sahb could come home with his niece and throw her out to make room for his niece in his son's life and so to her, joining her husband for a night long drive and a funeral felt much more assuring than to sleep in a cold room without him and to sleep in fear.

In her peripheral vision, Maheen glanced at her husband only to find him staring straight into the road- his index finger tapping on the steering wheel. After promising to keep him company, she slept through the night and woke up once the early morning breeze froze her bones and with fog hovering over the road, the couple could barely see anything. The vehicles that passed by showed themselves with the headlights. It had been long– really long– since she went on a trip with her family. Things mostly didn't work out or something happened at the last moment. The last time it was seventeen years old Daniyal coming back home with a broken bone a few hours before their trip.

Maheen hugged herself closer, rubbing her hands to provide warmth. The cold was so dense that her skin paled and her lips dried in no moment. Zaviyar could sense her looking at him every now and then and saw her rubbing her hands vigorously, her legs bouncing to show her discomfort. He pulled the glasses up before turning the heater on, "Uth gayi ho toh chai peelain?"

Her body begged for the warmth a cup of hot chai could give her. Her body begged for a cup after having to drink coffee for more than a week, "Jee."

Zaviyar pulled over near the dhaba he found closely in a five minutes' drive and told her to keep the glasses up until he came back with the food. Maheen nodded and sat back, feeling the ecstasy rushing through her bones and flesh. She hadn't dreamt much about having a companion because her fear was much bigger than her wish to have love one day but seeing it coming true, she could do nothing but look up at the sky and pray for the moment to last– to pray for the things they had between them to last a lifetime. Maheen Ali Dawar would do anything to keep him in her life now that she had him.

The sound of knocking on the glass broke her reverie and threw her back into reality. Her man stood outside, dressed in a thin cotton dress while his shawl was draped over her shoulders. He must be cold. He must be very cold even though he didn't show it on his face and that's how he always had been– the one who never displayed his emotions or weaknesses. He was so full of flaws yet he didn't deem it necessary to be taken down by them. He was on his own. He didn't need anyone and that, for a fact, sucked her soul out of her.