Streetz 2: The Tried

21. Closing the Door

"I said I was sorry, how many times do you want me to apologize?"

"I'm not leavin' cause of that," I say, putting my slides on as I grab my bags, getting ready to head into the airport.

I was on my way back to Detroit for legal matters. Cane wanted to speak with me about some things and because I wasn't really sure if that was good or bad, I kept it simple. Of course, with Ariana being pregnant, she took it the wrong way.

"Well, why can't I go with you?" She whined. 

"Because," I kissed her forehead, throwing my bag over my back, "I'm only gon' be gone for 2 days and you need to study and knock out some homework,"

"My homework done,"

"Ari," I stared at her, "I'm not doin' this with you. I promise I'll be right back and call you and keep checkin' on you. Now let me go before I miss my flight. I left somethin' at the house for you too."

She wiped her face and shook her head. I gave her another kiss and went on about my business.

It felt like every time I said I was done with Detroit, there was always a reason to come back. I felt like this time would be different though, considering that I would be here alone. I could deal with certain things on my own.

I had no idea what Cane wanted to speak to me about and I hadn't been keeping up with Detroit's news or anything at all, so if it was something important pertaining to me, I wouldn't have had a clue. All I know was that I was boarding this plane and there was no looking back.

I was praying that this would be the last time I had to come out here.

To be honest, Detroit made me the man that I became at such a young age. The shit I been through, trying to survive all alone with my immediate family a thousand miles away was relentless but I learned so much. I may not have made the best choices and yeah, I've done a lot of shit out here that I would hate to repeat or even talk about, but I did it all to get to where I am now. And I've learned long ago to be proud of that fact because I'm still standing.

At some point in life, you have to grow up. Had I never met Ariana, I probably would've still been out in the streets, going back and forth with Lira, probably in jail over her ass. I had a great paying job when I met Ariana, but none of that mattered because I was still out with the wrong crowd, doing the wrong shit, going through shit because I didn't know any better. I didn't see any better. 

My black ass would've stayed in that apartment in that ghetto ass, rundown neighborhood till I was old and gray. The same neighborhood where you had to lock your wheels at night so nobody would still your ride in the morning. The place where gunshots and fireworks sounded damn near identical. Had I not been cool with almost everyone there, they probably would've gotten my ass a long time ago.

It wasn't until I met Ari that I was influenced to do better. We started off on a rocky road and we went through some bullshit, however, we both came in with other problems weighing us down. Still, I had never met someone as dedicated as she is. 

See, Lira was comfortable. She didn't mind the shit going on because she got a thrill out of it. She liked the drama, and the hood politics, she was into all that shit. That's why she was still in the same place as before. 

And O, well, what can I say about that? Since college, I had been expressing what I thought would be best for him--for us, but he was also one of them cats that was comfortable. Ohaji saw a way to make money the fast way and never looked back. His degree was just his posture. 

But Ariana, that damn Ariana, she forced me to do better. She didn't know it but it was clear I couldn't be the same dude I was with Lira with her. There was no reason to be. And whether she knew it or not, I was forever grateful for that because I knew I could always make money and survive on my own if shit was to ever hit the fan. I knew my way around the streets, gangs, and drugs. I could eat off that shit.