Stone to Fire

CHAPTER 13: Juni

           "..It's the thing about 'perceived as weird' thing, huh?..." He looked at the strangers with a saddened expression, putting his hands in his pockets and taking a step back from Cole, creating space between the two. The earth elemental dropped his hands from Kai when the boy pulled away, "No it's not that," he explained, "I just don't want them to get mad or complain about it. Especially if you're still getting used to this feeling." he tried to put the words together. Taking a few awkward steps back himself, he looked down at his hands "I loved that kiss, and I wanted to keep doing it.." Cole seemed to get a little frustrated that he couldn't put the correct words to his thoughts.  Kai watched as the boy rambled, the concern still on his face, until Cole confessed about the kiss. The moment Cole brought up the kiss, Kai's face went soft again with a giant dorky smile. He couldn't help but smile hearing he enjoyed the moment the same way Kai did. "I mean-" He began with a shrug "- We could always find an alley... or something like that.." The same sly sparkle slipped back into his eyes looking at the other. Cole paused, for a second, finally looking back up at Kai with a small smile as he asked him, "wait.. are you sure?" Cole looked around once again, before taking a step closer to Kai. "Do you think we can?" He added, "I mean.. if you're comfortable with that of course-" "The worst that can happen around here is someone sees us and they chuck some sorta flower pot at us- otherwise we should be good." Kai laughed a bit but was speaking in all seriousness. He took a hand out of his pocket and held it out for Cole to take. "Wanna get lost?~" He asked the other with a smile on his face. He knew of a few spots they could go, however most were a walk away from where they were and would take some time to get there. He could always bring him somewhere closer but didn't want to risk being caught and harassed by anyone. He wanted to keep Cole's trust, not ruin it.  Kai's joke, about flower pots, made him laugh a little too. He took Kai's hand carefully, nodding, "I would love to. I would love to get lost with you forever." He tried his best to focus on just Kai, he didn't want to panic by the stares from passerby's. So, if he just kept his mind on the other boy, he would be happy.  "What, are we pulling quote from movies now?" The fire master teased to the black haired boy, his heart fluttering trying to conceal his excitement. "It's a bit of a ways away-" His eyes made their way down to the two's intertwined hands, feeling the tension the other gave off. "-you sure you want to go? The mood might be dead by the time we get there." Kai continued, his view still fixated on their hands, half joking. He knew his own feelings well, it was easy for his mind to move on after certain events. Flirting being one of them. It was one of the fastest emotions to leave his mind, and a bit difficult to get back at times. "You seem pretty tense..." Kai brought up the issue, again, looking away as the two walked down the snowy stone road, hand in hand dodging glances and dirty looks from civilians. "Even if the mood is not there we can still enjoy the time together." Cole reassured, following the other. He didn't look down at their hands, but he was trying to not get too excited, from the situation. Happy to be, once again, close to the boy he desired.

     "It's just, the people that are looking remind me of how my dad acted when I came out to him.." Cole explained in a hushed voice. A slight shift in his grip of the other's hand, told Kai he was getting uncomfortable again. "He wasn't the best at accepting me for who I was and it just never is a good memory to see him." he added, his gaze more to the floor or anywhere away from the people watching the two. "He made me feel that I wasn't good enough- because I liked boys." Kai's gaze quickly shifted from their hands to Cole's face. A part of him felt guilty, now truly understanding why Cole was so upset with Kai about opening up about his past homophobia, but more than anything he felt bad that Cole still felt that way. "That's why you don't go over for the holidays, huh?" Kai spoke in a lower tone as he looked ahead to the path in front.  "..Yeah.." his voice grew soft. "I didn't want to hear the 'well that's not the son I raised' rant again." he smiled a little bit before shrugging. "Although, my mom really loved me for who I was, at least before she passed. I wouldn't mind going there if she was still around." he explained, his grip loosening a bit. Kai gently squeezed his hand, with an empathetic expression worn on his face. "Ya know. You said 'before she passed' but, I think she still loves you. She's always gonna be around. Might not be physical, but she's still here." He felt the light squeeze, returning a slight one back to Kai. "I sure hope she is." he said before adding. "My dad never really liked me for being gay. It really torn our relationship apart.." He looked at the other with a soft smile. "I understand you not wanting to go back... those kinda talks are draining. Especially since there's not much you can say back." He sighed as the two continued to walk hand in hand. Kai paused for a moment, still holding onto Cole's hand slightly pulling him back as Cole walked on, before he'd realized. "Did I make you feel like that?..." He questioned the boy, still holding onto him.
    When Kai stopped Cole soon stopped right after, turning to look at the other with a confused expression, "What do you mean? Feel what?" Kai looked down at their hands, intertwined. "You know. How, when I told you I thought liking guys was weird...?" He spoke softly with a lower whisper to his voice as his thumb rubbed the back of Cole's hand. "The way Nya told you about it?.. you were really mad at me. Is that why? Because I reminded you of your dad?...." His eyes finally met the others after he'd finished his sentence. His eyes seemed to unfocus from his point of view as he continuously blinked to clear his vision.  Cole seemed hesitant, his eyes now fixed on the other boy as he watched him. A shift in his stance when he felt the other rub his hand. "It's.. kind of.." he tried to find the words. "My dad said a lot of hateful things. But it wasn't just that, it was because I love you-" he looked away a bit. "I just didn't want you to go with someone else. I was mad because I thought you liked me, and it didn't seem like you did."  A pit sank in Kai's stomach at the mention of another person, the tension growing on his shoulders. His eyes drifted from Cole on to a shop in the distance, before making their way back to Cole. "You ...love me?-" He asked, his head cocking to the right a smidge. He hadn't heard many people use those words towards him, not other than his little sister. It felt almost out of place to hear it come from someone other than Nya. He felt wronged for not feeling the same strong emotions towards the others. Kai knew he liked the boy, but love was such a strong word for him to use, not the right word for his situation. He knew that if he told Cole he hadn't loved him romantically, it'd most likely upset him. He did love him. He loved the other in the sense of caring for him, as family, but he didn't feel romantic love,
towards him. Perhaps it was only the beginning of what could lead to love?
Cole paused for a minute, realizing how he had exposed himself to the Kai, the light grip on the brunette's hand tightening a bit. "I-I mean... I feel like I do—" he explained, his eyes now back on him. "You make me feel happy when I'm with you. There's just this comfort I have that I only get when I'm with you." he continued,  with a smile slowly growing on his saddened face, not only shining through his cheeks but his eyes too. The warmth grew inside Kai hearing those words, similar to the fire he'd harnessed in battle, it had meant a lot to know he was the only one to make Cole feel that way. It was something special. "Yeah. I guess I feel that way too-" He gave the boy's hand another squeeze before continuing to walk. He was frightened that the feeling they'd shared through the kiss would have worn off, but Cole somehow knew exactly what to say for Kai to feel that way again. It was almost like something out of a book, something fiction, something Kai had never imagined to feel or hear. He couldn't help but feel his face warm a little bit, "you feel the same way too?" Cole asked, now curious, since the other never really said 'I love you' back. "You feel that feeling too?" He'd taken a big step or two to be beside Kai again. "It's like this strange feeling that I've really only had with you, it's a scary feeling.. but at the same time I really don't want it to end" Kai face seemed to blank out, with no expression, for a moment. "Uhm.." he spat out, his brain still trying to function. It felt like there were needles on his face, and a fire right in front of him. His chest felt like it would explode and his hands were clammy. He pulled his hand away from Cole's before rubbing it against the shirt on his chest. "Yep- feeling that right now...actually-" he spoke with a nervous undertone. He'd never felt this way with girls, or maybe it was because he'd never felt this connected to them. Whatever it was, he wasn't too fond of it. The idea was nice, but the adrenaline part, it was familiar too. Enough to turn his stomach inside out. Cole watched the other boy wipe his hands off, raising his eyebrow in confusion. "Just breathe..." he said simply, taking his hands. "It's a weird feeling but you're okay." he reassured Kai, keeping the others hands carefully on his own. Cole could tell Kai was having a sort, of almost, panic attack at the thoughts. "Just breath. Close your eyes.." he instructed, gently. Cole seemed patient, watching the other carefully, knowing not to push him over the edge. He didn't let go of his hands, though he could feel the heat spike, like earlier. "Is everything okay?" There was a moment before the other responded to him. Something seemed to click in his eyes before Kai spoke, as if he hit a switch in his brain. "Yeah, I'm good." he said with a smile, looking at Cole. All of the panic and emotion that was previously there, it was almost like it had never even existed. He squeezed Cole's hand in return, and continued walking with him down the cobblestone pathway. Kai didn't strike up much of a conversation after that, still stuck on that feeling he'd gotten. Cole had given him a confused look, when Kai had rid the emotion, and seemed to change instantly. Nevertheless he followed the red coated teen, closely. "You better be okay. I don't want you to have a breakdown on me." he teased playfully, occasionally speaking, but letting Kai have silence that he needed. The longer the two walked the tenser Kai had felt. It was like a pit was eating away at his stomach, and he wasn't sure if it was excitement or fear.