Super Dragon Ball: Paradise Hysteria

The Homecoming Stage of Infiltration

"Don't worry. Your fiancé's gonna be home safe and sound soon enough. Knowing Bulma's penchant for having people do everything for her and lack of restraint in paying for it, Lazuli will bring back home the bacon too," Yamcha nudged Krillin's side with a teasing grin on his face. He had his arm around the shoulder of a slender and short woman in a black turtleneck and long green hair. Despite being new to Yamcha's inner circle of friends, Emeralda looked comfortable and warm while surrounded by them. Almost as if she knew them her entire life. This might have been odd since Yamcha's newest girlfriend seemed around half Tenshinhan's age.

Chayote beamed a squinted stare at Yamcha while playfully wobbling her waist to the sides, gently stimulating Navy, who had climbed over her back like a little monkey and fell asleep waiting for something exciting to happen. There was no jealousy in the Saiyan's stabbing stare, just a very sharp reminder to the womanizer about what it was he told her a few years back why their relationship wouldn't work. While Chayote had zero interest in ever pursuing anything like that again, she wanted the point to stab as deep as she was willing to thrust it.

It was working too–any time Yamcha accidentally turned his head at an angle that included Chayote in his field of vision; he stretched his face out in distress and promptly turned away. It may have been petty, but Chayote was more than fine being the scolding kettle of boiling water for as long as she would know Yamcha in the foreseeable future. In a strange way, she even rooted for Yamcha to actually accomplish the impossible and marry this one. That way, she'd be able to point out his hypocrisy until the end of their days without having to say a word.

"I'm worried that it might become a habit with her..." Krillin pressed his hand to his forehead and shook his head in worry. "It's not that I would mind having a wife that makes more money than me. It's just... Bulma can be such a diva and I don't want Lazuli to get involved in all of her business. Besides, I'm sure that Bulma's petty enough to still hold Lazuli's previous employment against her. I can almost guarantee you she hands Lazuli all sorts of demeaning work."

"Are ya sure yer not scared 'a your girly makin' more money than you?" Yajirobe growled with a half-full mouth while sitting at the snack table and stuffing himself full of it while the ship was far away and he had the chance. "Ain't that the whole reason she's with ya, to begin with?"

"W-Well..." Krillin prodded his fingers with severe sweat, breaking out from his forehead. "It may have started like that, but... I don't think it's like that at the moment..."

"Why are you even here!?" Yamcha's expression got sterner. He'd have shaken his fist over his head at the little hairy ronin pest eating all of their food and pretending to be their good acquaintance while barely ever contributing when any of them needed anything if he didn't have his newest girlfriend rubbing herself against him for warmth and firmness. "You wouldn't spend a single sleepless night if Bulma, Goku, or Bardock died."

"That ain't even true," Yajirobe turned his chair around from the food and began picking his teeth. "I'd find out what type 'a undead they've become. Then I'd hunt them down, slice 'em up an' eat them so that they could make it to the Otherworld nice an' proper."

Emeralda broke into a brief spasm of chuckles before realizing that nobody was laughing. She scanned the yard and realized that every one of Yamcha's friends took what Yajirobe said with utmost seriousness. Given the fact that Yamcha was friends with a three-eyed man, a talking anthropomorphic pig, and his best friend was a levitating, transforming cat-like creature, Emeralda knew that her new boyfriend was a bit quirky, but she must not have suspected ghosts, aliens and demons to be part of the equation so she just gulped that realization down into a remote mental filing cabinet for further evaluation.

"Don't worry, Krillin," Chayote bumped into the circle of friends with the little monkey still hanging on her back and napping with a baby snore. "I might not know Lazuli that well, but working hard for her money sounds like the last thing on her mind. She's not with you because you give and buy her things, she's with you because you provide and entertain her without her having to move a finger."