Super Dragon Ball: Paradise Hysteria

The Saiyan Summit

"Greetings, dear viewers, who have joined us today on this live broadcast of an unexpected press conference! My name is Mark Mellows and I am the special correspondent from the West Channel News, hot on the scene! Right now, there isn't much of anything happening. Ever since Bulma, the current president of Capsule Corps, announced the press conference, journalists from all across the globe began swarming here to the West Channel News Tower. Obviously, West Channel News was the first to get the scoop, since Bulma contacted us directly..."

A man in a suit with a haircut containing a mixture of hair gel easily half his own weight and most of the periodic table was yelling into the camera. The reason for his elevated voice wasn't just his passion for his work, even though he'd have been yelling either way, it was actually the major number of special correspondents gathering under one roof to break down the scoop of the week. In the cutthroat world of television broadcasts, chivalry was dead, meaning Mark Mellows had to nudge more than one lady correspondent with his shoulder to get a better angle and to fit into the frame of the camera fully. Compromising his competition helped too.

"With time ticking down to the important press conference, we've got our guest today, country singer Tooter B-Pop with his theories about this conference that is just four minutes away from go-time and the potential meaning of this conference to the rest of the world. Take it away, Mr. B-Pop," Mark Mellows pushed the microphone toward a short and slender, hairy and bare-chested hick chewing on some smack with a loosely hanging leather west and a massive cowboy hat covering up his greasy hair.

"Yep. It might be a grand number of things. An announcement of a brand-new Capsule Corps product. You better believe it, I'll be buyin' it. Don't even know or care what it is. I'm buyin' anyway. Ya also can't forget that Bulma is married to the actual King of Saiyans, an alien race that's been just doin' their best to cohabitate, so to speak. Not to mention, Capsule Corps hasn't kept it secret that they've been supportin' Mark Hercule in the King of the World election and that sort of didn't work out, because King became King of the World again, so they might be talkin' somethin' 'bout that too. Maybe they're hoppin' into bed with another candidate, honestly, the only way to know for sure is to wait two more minutes and just see and hear it for ourselves, I think. Yep..." Tooter B-Pop leaned to speak into the microphone only for the massive cowboy hat to nearly devour him whole, before being forced to flick it back. Feebly at first, but after the fourth time, he did it with enough gusto to nearly send the hat off his head, opening his smack-munching, rowdy, and rugged face.

"Heh, heh, heh... You shouldn't say that out loud, I don't think... Come on, we're just doing a little of small talk, a bit of banter to fill the time, you know..." Mark Mellows chuckled, pulling his tight shirt collar to widen it up and get some more air as if could cool his forehead that sprinkled with sweat. "Also, those are some very good guesses, I didn't expect a country singer to actually be a viable expert on the matter..."

"Yep..." Tooter B-Pop mumbled before turning his head back from the camera in reaction to some commotion in the back.

"W-Wait a second right now! I'm getting some news that Bulma, president of the Capsule Corps, is arriving at the West Channel News Tower as we speak! Why doesn't our news team cut to the correspondents watching the ground floor and the entryway to see if they can catch an early scoop from Bulma!?" Mark Mellows suggested with some aggressive winking and tapping of his foot to make the news team and the techies behind the scene absolutely do as he "suggested".

The image from the first floor was nowhere as clear as it was from the conference room on the 40th floor. It was staticky, and the camera was bent at a 45-degree angle because of all the pushing and shoving from the ravenous correspondents looking for their own pound of flesh. No matter how hard Bulma's security team worked, they couldn't hold the flood of the summoned press away and, even if they could, they were wary of the legal trouble of shoving a member of the 4th branch of the government with too much force.