Blood dripping down my thighs

Preface

Purnima Gordhani
India

I am trying to run but I can’t. It hurts. It feels like thousands of needles are being struck into my vagina. So, I take small quick steps. My house is at the corner of the street. It has never felt so far away before today. It feels like I am thousands of miles away. I can feel the blood dripping. My underwear is wet. I can feel the blood advance to my cycling shorts that I’m wearing under my skirt. At least its black so there won’t be any visible spots of blood. I try to make my steps quicker. I want to reach home as soon as possible. I can’t bear being looked at by anyone passing by me. I want to go to my room and hide under the sheets and never come out. I want to suffocate to death under those sheets.
“Hey, Puru, why didn’t you come out to play today? Where have you been all evening?”  Sania shouts from across the street.
Out of all people in this world, the one person I least wanted to see right now was Sania. She is the gossip queen of the area. She always knows what is up with whom. All she does is collect tea from one place and spill it at the other. That’s why aunties love her. She fits in  perfectly with them. I can’t even let her have an idea of what has happened, so I keep walking without turning my head. I keep my head hanging low and watch her cross the street from the side of my eye. Why the hell can’t she mind her own business?
“What happened puru? Where are you going?” she asks, walking behind me matching the rhythm of  my quick steps which had gone quicker when she started following me.
What do I tell her? What had happened? A predator had hunted me down and eaten me until I had no flesh left inside of me? That I didn’t really know what had happened? Or I didn’t have words to explain what had happened? Or that I didn’t know if there were actually any words that existed in this universe for what had happened?
“Home.” I answer her in a low voice without lowering the pace of my steps.  A gust of cold air brushes my arms and a shiver runs all over my body. It was monsoon season and it had been raining all afternoon. The atmosphere is still cold. I am cold.
“Okay.” her voice is full of doubts. I don’t like that. I don’t want to answer her infinite questions. “But why is your skirt drenched?” she asks.
What the hell? Is the blood visible? What do I tell her now? I fix my eyes on the street trying to think of an excuse. I see a puddle. Yes! It rained in the afternoon. All of my friends know that I love rains. I love to dance and hop around in rain. But not anymore. I could here the the drops of rain hit the surface of the earth while he ran his tongue all over my neck.
“I slipped and fell.” I spit out a lie.
“Classic Puru.” she laughs “We’re having our weekly badminton tournament today because half-yearly exams start on Monday. I called on your mother’s number to tell you but she was not at home. It starts at 6. bye.” she runs past me.
I just have to pass four more houses and then I’ll reach my home. Blood starts dripping down my thighs. I stand still. Horrified. My pupils follow the long line of blood that has now gone past my knee and is making its way to my ankle. A tear runs down my left cheek. I need to go! I squeeze my eyes shut and run. Ouch! It hurts bad!