Stay Away

prologue

Melbourne, 20th April 2022.

I look up at him with tears in my eyes, pure desperation rolling down my cheeks. The t-shirt I am wearing darkens where splotches of my tears have soaked the material. His hands slam down on the table, palms hitting the wood with a slap that had to have stung. I wince.

"Don't give me that look, Jaimie!" he shouts, frustrated. I shake my head, swallowing my sobs. "You wanted this. You told me a month ago that we should end it, and I begged you to give me a chance." His voice cracks as he breathes in sharply.

"I was scared that you wouldn't be able to handle everything. I thought you had figured it out." It's a lot. My life is hard for me to live, and I've had years to learn how to cope. Fleur is a handful, tennis is demanding, and I don't seem to be able to squeeze out the laser-sharp determination to succeed Papa has doused me in from the minute I was born.

He stands up, pushing his chair out beneath him, its legs scraping against the wooden floor with a screech sound akin to the noise clawing at the inside of my brain. I can tell he's about to leave, about to run away because I've done it again. Ruined something good for myself through no fault of my own. "I feel like you don't let yourself love me, Jai. And I love you, I really do"– but –"but the lowest points of my life would amount to nothing in comparison to your typical day. And it is just so tiring. You are tiring."

"You told me to go to fucking therapy, and so I got a fucking therapist, and everything is fucking fine," I snap, feeling vulnerable. He has ripped to shreds the part of me that I cannot change. My drive, my motivation – that is what got me here. It bought me my house, it won me my tournaments. There would be no Jaimie de Voss without the instinct to beat everyone else. If that means I have to put up with constantly having hands wrapped round my throat, suffocating me, then so be it.

For I am nothing if I am not the best.

Papa did the right thing by reminding me of that every day of my childhood.

"What is it about me that you find so miserable?" I ask him quietly. He has slipped on his trainers and found his car keys. "Why don't you want to be with me anymore?" I sound pathetic. I can see that he wants to let me down gently. He's too good a person to withstand the sight of me crumpled into a helpless heap of anguish.

"Jaimie. You are brilliant. I have never met a woman quite like you. It's just that... the person you are is one step away from being consumed by everything in your life. Go back to focusing on tennis. Don't try this relationship thing – you're no good at it."

Suddenly, I am nothing.

notes: 

Here's Jaimie!! 

I'm beyond excited for this part of the story. I know we know about Jaimie and Leah from Hold Me Close, but there is so much more to it than Fleur knows

This one is from Jaimie's perpesctive, so be prepared for some differing views

This actually takes place before Hold Me Close starts, but as the chapters progress, the timeline will overlap 

Stay tuned and good to see you again.