You Are Still Human Inside

Supporting People Who Are Changing

How can I support friends and family who are changing?

Finding out someone you care about has contracted Canis can be a difficult thing to learn. When your friend or family member has gone through their changes, they will look very different. You may feel extremely troubled at this. Someone you've known for years, who you've grown up with, someone you may love as a romantic partner - they will now not be quite the same as they used to be.

But while they look different, they are still the same person on the inside. In all the actions that you make while they are changing, and then adjusting after, be considerate. Remember they are the same person. Think carefully about what you say around them, especially when commenting on their changes. Try to put yourself in their situation. They are scared. They are embarrassed. They want to be seen as the same person. Do what you can to help reassure them that you are there to support them.

Perhaps you haven't been around Canis people much in the past. You may find yourself feeling uncomfortable around them, and feel guilty about that fact. This is nothing to be ashamed of. Although there are at least ten million Canis people around the world, and high concentrations of them in North America and Europe, they can still be relatively uncommon in day to day life. What is important is to not let this discomfort lead you to saying or doing things that make the person you care about uncomfortable. Ignoring them and trying to avoid them also can be saddening for many new Canis people.

Instead, focus on trying to become used to their changes. Spend time with them, and learn about Canis people. The resources in this guide can help, and there are many more resources online that can teach you about what new Canis people experience.

The best thing though that you can do for someone who is transforming though, is simply being a friend. Talk to them. Do things with them to help take their mind off their changes. WIth caution, ask them about how they are feeling, and listen to them talk about what they're trying to adjust to. If your friend or family member expresses that one of their changes isn't as bad as they thought, or even that they enjoy it, do not shame them. If you feel comfortable, be willing to affirm their happiness and that you're glad they've found a bright spot. You may not feel that way - and that's okay. Make clear that you're not going to make fun of them, even if you don't understand.

Of those who have gone through the life changing experience that is transforming into a Canis person, those who have regained normalcy, and found happiness after their changes, have almost always reported supportive friends and family as a chief factor. Some Canis people even report having even stronger friendships and family relationships after the trial of their changes.

Advice for Partners of New Canis People

One of the most stressful circumstances when someone changes is within a romantic relationship. Beyond the already existing sources of stress, there are now questions that arise such as "will I still love my partner even though they look different?" Some will question if they should break up, or get a divorce.

Many do, in this situation. Such experiences can be painful, even when the Canis person and their pre-existing partner mutually agree. Some break ups are worse. Doubts about relationships are common in these situations. You are not shallow. Everyone has their preferences for attraction, and someone becoming Canis can greatly change the feelings in a relationship. Be honest with your partner as they are changing. As important as it is for you to understand what they are going through, it is important for them to understand how you feel too.

Many professional counselors, when working with couples in situations like this, have repeated a frequent word of advice - to stay calm, and not focus on how you feel in the relationship too much, until after your partner has changed. As you both adjust back to your normal routine, start thinking again about your relationship, and at that point, after intense fear and anxiety have often subsided, you are both in a much better place to make decisions about your relationship going forward.