Firefly (ON HOLD)

Chapter 4 - Pointless

ONE YEAR LATER

"Honestly Chit Sang, what did you expect? It's best to just do what the guards say. You'll get yourself killed!" The voices come from a group just to the left of me. Chit Sang and his girlfriend are arguing, and I feel a smirk tug at my lips.

"So, what, we just bow down to them? No!" Chit Sang has a point, but his girl does, too. After nearly a year in this place, I've learned that it's best to lay low.

Of course, that's more of a recent development... I've always loved causing trouble.

I push off from my spot against the wall, my leisurely steps carrying me to their little huddle. "Shut up, both of you. Your voices are annoying." I shove through them, and they stumble out of my way.

"S-sorry, Painted Lady." That from Chit Sang's best friend. He keeps his eyes on the ground-they all do. My smirk widens.

They have good reason to be scared.

Several feet away, a girl sits on a protruding stone. Her short brown hair is falling loose from its ponytail, and she looks depressed. I wander over to her, curious despite myself.

"You." She looks up when I speak, her blue eyes suspicious. I cock my head, studying her. "You really a Kyoshi Warrior like they say?"

"Why do you care?" Her voice is defensive, and she crosses her arms. I decide that I like this girl. But that doesn't mean she can get away with talking to me like that. In this prison, I rule.

I narrow my eyes at her, leaning closer.

"Answer the question, kid."

"Why don't you come at me and find out?" Suddenly the seemingly passive girl is aggressive, her blue eyes glaring into mine. I smirk and drop into a stance; feet apart, elbows in, fists loosely clenched. Around us, the other prisoners in the yard begin to draw away-they know all too well the carnage that follows any fight involving me.

The girl imitates my stance, as if mocking me-but then the prison bell rings. We're being sent to our rooms for the night.

I straighten out of my stance and flip my long brown hair over my shoulder. "Maybe next time, kid."

Leaving her with an expression of rage on her pretty face, I walk away, smirking. Next time, I'll kick that pretty face of hers in. I want to see if she's really a Kyoshi warrior.

And if she isn't... she'll pay for pretending to be.

The fighting style of Kyoshi Island is sacred, and it isn't taught to just anyone.

In my room, I toss a small chunk of brick into the air, then catch it. Into the air, catch it. Into the air, catch it.

Over and over again I repeat the process, using the smooth spinning motion as a focal point to blank my mind. This place is so boring-just the same routine, day after day, night after night. I ought to escape, but I don't care enough. What's the point, anyway? What would I do on the outside?

Go back to being a bandit, preying on the Fire Nation? I sigh, setting the stone on the ground beside my cot. It seemed like a good idea at the time-get vengeance on the Fire Nation for what they did to me. Take from them like they took from me.

But it seems so pointless now. What good did I really do? Sure, I made a few merchants mad. And obviously I made the Firelord mad enough that he locked me in the Boiling Rock when they finally caught me.

But I didn't stop the war. I didn't steal any of their more powerful weapons or save anyone from their clutches. I just took their money. Well, and worked up a reputation that spread throughout the Fire Nation. They're all afraid of me.

Still... when I set out to become the Painted Lady, I wanted to get revenge on the Fire Nation. But all I did was end up in another prison. Isn't that what got me into this mess, anyway? If I'd just stayed in Senlin Village, none of this would've happened. Maybe I could've done some actual good there, like Sara did.

Not that it matters now.

I sigh again and turn over, resting my head on my elbow. Besides, at least here I get three square meals a day and plenty of exercise. Plus, everyone is afraid of me, so they leave me alone. It's not as if I'm trapped here-I'm choosing to stay. So I'm not really in prison.

It's more like... an extended vacation.

Maybe I will escape, though. I could go back to Senlin Village... some of them might even remember me.

Right. They'll remember me as the murderer they ran out of their town.

I clench my fists against the memory, hating myself for not knowing what to do.

Everything just seems... so pointless.

Even my own life.

It's... worthless.

I run through the forest near Senlin Village, the smoke of the fire stinging my nose. Somewhere ahead, I hear Heka call my name. I try to follow her voice, but everything is distorted by the sound of the burning forest.

"HEKA! WHERE ARE YO-" I trip and fall, stumbling down a slope. Branches and brambles scratch my skin, sending thin streams of blood down my face and arms. The red mixes with the salt of my tears, and I can't tell the difference between the feel of the two.

"RUN!!" Her voice comes from my left now, but the fire is thicker that way.

I can't leave her. I run towards her voice, using my bending to keep the fire away. Stumbling into a clearing, I see her-she's surrounded by Fire Nation soldiers. THEY must have started this fire! There are only three of them, Heka should be fine. She's a great fighter, she's strong.

But she's trapped beneath a tree-she's stuck and they're moving in. Laughing.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" Furious, I lash out at them with my bending. I pull streams of water from the air and the burning trees, shoving them away from her. One grabs me from behind and I stomp down on his foot, then jab my elbow into his stomach. Crouching, I toss him over my shoulders into a second soldier.

Then I run forward towards the third soldier, send a stream of water under his feet and freeze it. He slips as I reach him, and I punch him repeatedly, until he's not moving anymore. All three of them are unconscious, but the smoke makes it hard to breathe, hard to see. My eyes are stinging and I'm coughing wildly-I make my way through the thick smoke trying to find Heka. But I can't see her, I don't see her anywhere!

I can't find her, no matter how hard I search. The smoke is slowly killing me, and Heka has disappeared into the confusion.

I collapse, sobbing her name, looking around frantically through blurred vision-

And wake screaming her name, my voice hoarse and my body covered in sweat. It takes me a moment to remember where I am, and when I do I curl into myself. The prison is cold and silent around me-it's way past the middle of the night.

The nightmares have been getting worse lately, and I don't know why. A water droplet lands on the red of my prison uniform. What? I brush my hair back and look up at the ceiling, expecting to find a leak. Instead, my hand comes away from my face wet. I frown. Am I crying? I haven't cried in months.

Not since I decided to stay here instead of going to back to the life of a bandit.

I quickly wipe the tears away and try to forget the way they felt against my skin.