Drifting Apart

Part 3

After that, I felt kinda bad but also good. Bad in the sense that I didn't get the chance to hangout with her for such a long while and good since I'm happy that she wasn't lonely plus she's doing ballet now.

*sigh* After taking up all the courage I needed to tell her, all I did was spew nonsense.

We didn't hangout much the remaining weeks. Most of the time, she would be busy with ballet practice. And on other days, she and her gramma would go shopping for school supplies and uniforms. I, on the other hand, did a lot of preparations too. Finally school started and we only hanged out on Saturdays. But it wasn't just the two of us, the other neighbors would also join us. It was good actually cuz we had more friends. It started going differently because I felt out of place at times. They were all talking about the stuff they did all summer long. All those fun memories that I didn't get a chance to share it with her. I just listened, listened to the happenings in my absence.

Then, some point in my early months of junior high, dad bought me a laptop. I've never had a laptop before so I was really thrilled to have one. Next thing that my folks did was install Internet for my education and for their use too. A few months later, mom installed cable tv. I was also thrilled to watch a lot of cartoons and movies. I got too comfortable inside my house that I didn't want to leave unless it's leaving for school. I spent most of my time lurking in the four corners of my house. On weekends, I'd spend time with Riley and the other neighbors. I've come to know them more an more and they're not that awful at all. Although, sometimes they seem quite annoying. Most of them are younger than us by a year but it made no difference. We still hung out as a group.

Months past and my academics started to get a little bit difficult. I started to use my weekends to study instead of spending time with my friends, especially her. At times they'd visit my house and ask me to hang out with them. All I could do was say no. I had projects that piled up, quizzes and activities I have to prepare for. At first, they'd visit almost every weekend and they'd just end up disappointed. The proceeding weekends were different. They didn't bother visiting me or asking me to hang out. I couldn't get mad at them, maybe they got tired to trying to spend time with me. Maybe they lost hope that I'll be free on a weekend. Maybe, just maybe... they forgot about me.

I couldn't care any less how the other kids forgot about me. All the matters is her. It hurts a lot more thinking that somehow she forgot about me. But who am I to demand for attention? I didn't give her the attention she needed. I wasn't even there for her.

One weekend, I was actually free. I waited for them to come and hang out. I was starting to feel excited to hang out with my them again. It's been a while since I last talked to Riley. I saw them approaching my house. I thought for sure that they'd knock or look for me at least. But to my surprise they just walk passed my house and carried on as if I was living in an old abandoned house.

I felt my heart shatter as I saw them walk away, as I saw her walk away. Not even glancing at the place where we use to hang out all day. The feeling of longing for their attention and presence and all I get is to see them walk away as if I didn't exist. I can't blame them. I've given them enough reasons to forget about me.

The next weekend, I made sure that I had nothing else to do. I canceled every possible meeting on the upcoming Saturday. I just couldn't bare leaving things how they are. So I planned to spend time with them the coming weekend. I also sent her a message.

(Me): Hey Riley, how's it going? I'm not busy this weekend, you mind if I hangout with you? :)

(Riley): Sure, come by my house Saturday morning ok? :3

I was so euphoric and I couldn't contain my excitement to hang out with my bestfriend once again. I was so looking forward and I can't wait for Saturday to come.