It's been a few days since I've seen Pablito. The whole Barcelona team is on a 9 days vacation. Eric invited me to an basketball game in the USA, I wanted to take Pablo but he already had plans so I took Fer. It's weird not having Pablo around. It's much more quiet. He's always so enthousiastic about everything!
I really enjoy being around him, he is the only perdon who is able to make me happy again when I feel like shit.
Anyway today we're going to explore the city a little bit. The USA is so different in many aspects from Spain. I can't even compare it really. Me, Fer and Eric went to this small coffeeshop not far from our appartement. We ordered and sat down at one of the cute little tables in the shop.
'Ey Pedrito, can I ask you something?' Eric asked. 'Yeah sure,' I replied while sipping from my latte. 'Uhmmm how do I say this...' Eric said looking at Fer for support. 'We have the feelinc there is going on something between you and Pablito,' my brother said. There was a knot in my troat.
'W- What are you talking about? Me and Pablo are just friends!' I stated, somewhat nervously. No idea why though, he was my bestfriend so why did there comment make me nervous? ' Pedro we noticed how concerned you were for him, you cried hermano, I've never seen you cry,' Eric continued. 'Me neither to be honest,' Fer stated. 'Soo I was worried my best friend was missing,' I mumbled, knowing where they were going with this.
'Okay pepi before you get to annoyed with us, we'll get to our point, is there any chance you might love Pablito?' Fer asked. 'What? Me? Love Pablo? Thats nonsense!' Or wasn't it? 'How do you even know if you love someone?' I asked quietly.
'Well you miss them when you're not with them. You want to be around them all the time. And actually you just know, you feel it,' Eric said.
I was sinking in my own thoughts. My thoughts were running like a train on the lose. What the actually fuck is going on? I'm not gay! Altough I feel different around Pablo. Everything is more simple around him. He is just some presence in your life that when you tasted it once you can not life without. He is like a drug, and to be honest a good looking drugs. I'll always thought I just thought he was good looking but I'll never thought that made me gay.
'Pedro? Hermano? Are you okay?' I looked up, I didn't even noticed I was crying untill now. Luckily where in the USA, nobody will reconize me. 'I-Im n-not gay!' I sobbed. 'Eyy hermano! It's okay! This is normal! And if you like him does that not immediately mean your gay. There is so many as what you can identify. Like bisexual, that means you feel attracted to both genders. And hermano, you're still the same person you were 10 minutes ago! We love you so much pepi, that'll never change!' Eric said calmly, while placibg his hand on my shoulder.
' Pepi, you're my brother, my idol. If there is anything i wabt to become when I grow up is as strong and polite as you! I look up to you and I adore you with everything I have. You can never change that!' My brother added.
Now I was fully crying, letting my tears run, letting my guard down for the first time. 'I-I'm just so scared!' I sobbed quietly. 'Scared of what pepi?' Eric asked quietly, a little taking a back from seeing me break down. 'E-Everything... what will the other teammates think, what will mom and dad think, what will Pablo think? And especialy, love just freaks me out!' I cried, trying my best to form correct sentences.
' About mom and dad you don't have to worry, I think they can kind off see this coming. Same with your teammates. And Pablo, I'm pretty much sure he feels the same!' Fer said softly. 'You th- you think he likes me too?' I softly asked still crying. 'Hermano! He loves you more than he loves chocolat milk! And that's a lot!' Eric continued. I sobbed.
Both Fer and Eric hugged me tight. This wasn't me, I am not a weak little cry baby, but then again I am always so emotional around Pablo. A few minutes later, me still being hugged by my two friends. I calmed down. I've never thought I would come out, definitly not here in a small cafe in America. But I did, I feel kind of relieved but on the other hand I'm so damn scared. I took my phone and decided to send him a message just wanting to talk to him.
Pablito
Me: Ola hermano, como estas?
Pablito: I'm okay, hows America?
Me: it's literally the best! I have to take you here one time, you'll love it!!!
Pablito: i'd love that!
Me: i kinda miss you
Pablito: awhhhh really?!
Me: yess its very quite
and i have no one to bully cause now i'm the youngest.
Pablito: i was gonna
say i miss you too, you asshole!
Me: no but all jokes aside
i do miss my best friend!
Pablito: aweee
Me: so yeah
can you tell ferran i miss him :)
Pablito: shut up
Me: make me
Pablito: i miss you pepi
Me: i miss you too hermano
I smiled at my phone how I enjoyed talking to that boy. 'Is it him?' Fer asked. I nodded smiling weakly at him. 'Yow Fer don't you think we should help them a little bit?' Eric asked. ' Yeah I think so other wise it'll never happen, they're gonna need a little bit of help from these two cupidos!' Fer exclaimed. ' Ohw my God you guys!' I said embaressed, hiding my face in my hands. Though they're hella weird, I have the best friends in the world!
