Azriel opened the front door to find Elain asleep by the crackling fire, book on her chest, hot chocolate gone cold on the side table. He often found her like this, some days his mission would take longer but he always made a point to come home to her. Today, he got home near dawn and she was still right there, waiting for him. He felt guilty, he knew she wouldn't sleep on the bed without him, he had told her so many times and she just wouldn't listen. He had wanted to quit so many times, to not travel to far places, to stay away from death and devastation. Azriel was afraid to bring all that home, to her. He could not bare tainting her like that after she had given up everything to be with him, but he was doing just that.
Lost in thought Azriel did not see Elain wake in time to step away from her touch. Panic in her eyes. "Az, why is there blood all over you?".
"It's not mine.", sorrow laced his words.
"What's wrong Azriel?".
"They killed them, I got there too late Elain. The children. I couldn't save them". He began to sob falling onto his knees, Elain quickly reached for him, caressing him to her chest. Azriel had gone on a mission to the human lands. Koschie was furious that Vassa was free, away from him, and ruling the human lands once more. He had arranged several attacks all over the human lands, Cassian and Azriel often traveled to the human realm to help Vassa in battle against him.
"What happened?", She asked pressing a kiss to his eyebrow.
"I was just about to enter the location that was tipped to my spies when my vision went blurry and I woke up several minutes later to dead bodies around me. I could not find a healer for hours Elain, the kids who survived were severally injured--like...like me."
Burns, he meant they burnt from whatever explosive had gone off. Elain pressed his face further to her chest.
"It is not your fault, Azriel. Look at me." She tugged on his chin, forcing him to meet her eyes. "It is not your fault, you will wake up tomorrow and try again. Okay?". She commanded, but he said nothing, trembling still. "Promise me Azriel. Promise me that he will pay for this." She said again.
"I promise.". He replied, fighting back tears.
"Let's draw you a bath." She pulled at him and he took his shoes off before entering their home. Taking her stretched hand, he followed her to their bedroom.
Elain begin to fill the tab with warm water, she strode to him placing a hand on his heart. "I am going to remove your clothes.". She whispered as if her words could hurt him. She slowly pulled on his leather vest, then removed his shirt. She took out the truth-teller from his belt and set it aside, she then unzipped his pants and pulled them down together with his undergarments.
"Come.". She pulled him towards the bath. "Get in," she ordered, Azriel followed her without so much as looking at her.
He sat in the warm water drawing his knees to himself and covering his face between them. Elain returned with a washcloth, using her jasmine soap, she began to scrub the blood and dirt off of him. It took her some time to get everything off.
"Azriel.". She whispered.
"I can't forget their faces Elain.". She pressed his hands in hers.
"I know.", is all she could manage, but she took the opportunity to clean his face. After another few minutes of cleaning him in silence, she forced a smile
"This is not how I wanted to tell you, but I do think this might have been mothers way of ensuring we help those children somehow.". Azriel's eyes shot up to hers.
"What do you mean?", He asked, still confused, still in shock at the horrifying deaths he had seen.
"I will be right back.". Elain returned soon after with a bucket of warm water and rinsed Azriel clean. She handed him a towel and he wrapped it around himself before stepping out of the bath.
They both walked out to their bedroom, Azriel sat at the edge of their perfectly made bed. Elain hovered over him, he looked up at her. She pushed his legs apart to fit herself between them and kissed his temple.
"I want to show you something.", She pressed her hands on his eyes, forcing them shut. Azriel felt a vision down his mental shield and he went wholly still. It was him and he was holding a baby in his arms, with big brown eyes, glowing olive skin, and a smile so pure it hurt to look at it. It was his, theirs, their baby. His eyes shot open, he had to be dreaming. How? Just how could he get so lucky? First for Elain to have chosen him despite his scarred soul. But this, this was a miracle, his little miracle. He had never told Elain just how much he yearned for a child, he did not want to pressure her into anything, wanted everything to be her choice, at last, she had defied the mother for him. But this woman in front of him, she kept giving him, how could he ever be worthy of her? his little miracle.
"Was that?". He asked, almost broken.
She smiled wide, "Yes.". He lunged at her and began to twirl her around the room filling with her laughter.
"I am going to be a father?", he asked again putting her down, still in shock as if Elain was playing a cruel joke on him.
"Yes Azriel, you are going to be a father." she assured him, reading his hesitation she added, "And a great one, I have already seen you with Nyx, don't let the past misguide you into something you are not.".
"Elain, I do not know how to feel. I feel like I am going to combust.", tears streamed down his beautiful face again. "I feel so guilty for feeling happy, but I have never felt so much happiness at once, it feels like it'll consume me whole.".
"Azriel, it is okay to be happy. We will find those children justice, and will make a better world for our girl". she promised.
"What if, what if I am not good at it?", He asked.
"I am a seer Az, I know you will be. But even if I couldn't see the future, I know you would work every day to prove worthy of her.".
"Her?" His voice broke and he placed a soft kiss on her.
"Her.". She said into his mouth.
"Elain, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me.". Wiping his tears, he lunged at her again. "I love you. I know I do not say that enough. But, I love you Elain Archeron.".
She smiled, "Your eyes convey everything you ever need to say to me. We speak the language of gaze. We needn't words.". They had, always, understood each other without words.
"What are we going to call this little miracle?". He asked buzzing.
"Evanora," Elain replied.
"God's gift." He murmured to himself.
"Yes. God's gift.". She smiled.
"I am the luckiest male alive.". He smiled wide, tagging her close, the pain in his chest easing a little. He would end this war and Koschie before Evanora came to this world. He would make this world perfect for his little girl, no matter what it took.
