Frail heart

Phantasmagoria

Chapter three

"Just remember you don't have to answer any questions that you don't want to but...just be mindful of the ones that you choose not to answer. Sometimes silence is all anyone needs to jump to conclusions."

You nodded absentmindedly at the woman instructing you, straightening out the suit that had been picked out for you, hands trembling ever so slightly. You could already hear the loud chatter and camera shutters of the crowd, and it unnerved you slightly. You wanted nothing more than to have Wanda by your side to tell you that everything would be okay, but you were going to have to do this without her. You hadn't exactly planned what you were going to say, but you knew that whatever it ended up being, it would be the truth.

The woman turns back to you after signalling to one of the men at the door of the trailer you were in, trying her best to paint a smile onto her face as if she wasn't just as stressed as you were, "Alright, you ready?"

You took a deep breath, nodding once before following her out and onto the stage, a single desk with a microphone sitting in the middle of it. The second you stepped foot onto the risen platform, the swarm of people before you erupted into a cacophony of sound, some of which you could decipher as gasps and others as not so pleasant words being hurled at you. You hadn't the faintest clue as to what face to put on, so you just sat at the desk and hoped someone would quiet them all down before your ears started to bleed.

Glancing down at the space between the stage and the crowd of people, you saw a hefty amount of SHIELD agents, all heavily armed and some facing the civilians of New York while the others faced...you. Even Fury didn't trust you, this was all becoming a lot harder to brush off as 'precaution'.

Eventually, someone had managed to still the noise, all for the inevitable whispers shared among the sceptics, but it was only then that the questions began. You appreciated the orderly fashion in which they were asked, and the first handful hadn't been as invasive as you had imagined they'd be, but your luck had to run out eventually.

"What do you have to say for all the innocent lives you've taken?"

You had to take a few moments, not to think of answer, but to face the reality of the words that had just been pushed into your face. Your whole journey to recovery had consisted mainly of facing all the damnable things you had done, but it was a whole other rabbit hole hearing it from the people who relied on you to protect them. You remembered what the woman had said about silence, and the volumes it spoke, and tried your best to articulate your next words in a manner than wouldn't end in upheaval.

You cleared your throat, "I would like for everybody to know and understand that the person who did all of those...horrible things, it wasn't me. Hydra had taken control over my body and mind long before anything could have been done to stop them, and as a result, they made me into a monster."

"Bullshit! You just don't want to take accountability for what you did!"

You squeezed your eyes shut at the outburst, the words piercing through you in a way you hadn't prepared for, "I know that this might be hard for you all to grasp, even now I still don't fully understand it but...I never would have done the things that I did if I was in any form of control. That isn't- that isn't who I am, I never meant to hurt anybody."

It appeared that a lot of the people who had shown up today weren't getting the answers they wanted, and they weren't going to stay silent about it. The noise was deafening, and given your enhanced hearing, you could hear every violent comment made about and towards you and it made your chest compress tightly. You could feel it all becoming too much, but getting out of this chair and fleeing the scene would only make you look like more of a coward, "I know you're all upset, and I came here today to try and give you some peace of mind, in any way that I can. This is me taking responsibility, and I'll answer your questions all day if I have to, but please know that I'm trying."