Fem

Part 41

Jeremy figured out a way to steal from the change machine at the laundromat, so he always has money to spend at Scoop Shack, plus a big tip for Katherine. He prefers to go on days that are not turtleneck days.

When Katherine gives him his cone, it's service with a snarl.

Jeremy said, You want to know something weird?

If it's about my sister, I said, then no.

He told me anyway. He said, Katherine has exactly your face, but also with a big set of boobs.

In Katherine's diary, she refers to him as Marty's friend, that zit-faced freak.

Lots of dads in the neighbourhood suddenly have a taste for ice cream. She has names for all of them too. Wayne's dad is fascist cop, Chad's dad is never-was hockey star, and Jeremy's dad is giggling perv.

*

My mom had cut out an ad from the newspaper and stuck it to the fridge with a magnet. The ad said, HARDWOOD REFINISHING.

Of course my dad saw it. He was meant to. It was part of the plan to push him over the edge. First the chair and then the house painting and now this. He ignored it until he couldn't anymore.

He did that thing called rising to the bait. My mom was at the stove, standing over a pot of boiling carrots. Her glasses were all steamed up. Rosemary, he said, you're obsessed with refurbishing junk.

She said, There's beautiful floors underneath that disgusting carpet.

He rubbed his fingers together in that way that means money. She said, It might be nice to strip away the years and remember how beautiful things used to be.

She tried to catch his eye but she failed on account of the steamed up glasses. She was only talking about floors a bit but about other bigger things a lot more. My dad didn't notice. He went off. He started yelling. He was just a sad fish twisting at the end of her line. Look how the sun makes him flash all silvery rainbows.

My mom drained the carrots and went at them violently with a masher. We'd never eaten mashed carrots before. It was like eating baby food. My dad accidentally spilled his water. It made the whole front of his pants wet. He threw his glass in the corner. It shattered.

He went downstairs. We heard the harp music come up like spikes. I'd never heard angry harp music, but I heard it then. I chewed the orange paste. My mom had her eyes closed and so did Katherine. They were trying to disappear. I closed my eyes too. The harp poked pickets in the blackness.

*

Dierdre is calling the house all the time. She's getting brave. If my mom picks up they have a little chat.

I thought a lot about what it would be like if Dierdre was my mother. Horror movies don't scare me much but that scares me a lot.

She'd be mean and call me names like she called Michael Jackson a fairy. She'd enrol me in hockey to toughen me up. She'd make me do my own laundry because I'm not a little kid any more.

She'd see bits of my dad in me but only the worst bits, like when I clam up and get sad and want to hide in dark rooms.

Also I figure she wouldn't last too long with my dad. She only knows work dad, not home dad. Work dad makes people laugh. Home dad spends most of his time in the basement.

*

Over lemonade, the old lady on the corner told me a story about how I used to push a doll around the block in a baby carriage. You loved to push that pram, she said, just pleased as punch.