But I still love you...

Our old love

"But... Sanemi..." 

Flashbacks to their old love flashed in Giyuu's head. Thoughts of all of the times they had together. 

When they went snowboarding

When they watched movies all day, cuddling.

When they would spend their mornings watching movies instead of getting up and starting the day. 

"No, Giyuu. It's over." Sanemi's voice was monotone. He looked at Giyuu straight in the eye whilst speaking. He really meant it. It wasn't a joke. It wasn't just one of the cruel pranks that Sanemi would pull. 

"W-why?!" Giyuu's breath hitched, his blue eyes swelling up with tears. "Why, Sanemi?!" A tear rolled down Giyuu's cheek. 

"I'm sorry, Giyuu. It's just-" Sanemi began to tear up slightly, still being forced to continue. "It's just not working..- It's just not working out!"

"Please! It was just one fight! Couples.. Couples fight sometimes! You can't do this!" Giyuu began to cry, his voice cracking. He really did love Sanemi. He didn't want it to end just yet. Their old love..- He just couldn't stop thinking about all of that love just thrown away. 

Sanemi turned around, beginning to walk off. 

"Hey... Hey! No..! No! NO..! NO!" Giyuu fell to his knees, crying hysterically. He really couldn't bear all of this overwhelming wave of sadness and depression he was feeling. He just cried and cried, not caring who saw. 

"no..." Giyuu tried to yell, but he felt it becoming harder and harder to breathe. He was having a panic attack, and only around two people were nearby at this point. He had no way of getting to those people, and ultimately collapsed on the sharp grass below him.

"It's so... Unfair... Please... Don't..." His voice trailed off as he slowly passed out. He was not only exhausted already, but his panic attack currently really wasn't helping him from passing out right there. And, he did. He passed out. 

----

Giyuu woke up from the hard rain pouring on him.  "...Ngh..." 

Giyuu had forgotten what happened, and he laughed to himself, wondering how this had happened. 

He walked home in the cold rain. He liked the feeling of it. Despite how cold it was, or how his clothes were sticking to his skin. 

The sliding door to their home opened, and it revealed Giyuu. He ran to the room to change, and Sanemis face curled into an angry expression. 

"What the fuck are you doing here Giyuu?!" 

Giyuus eyes widened, looking at him. "What do you mean? I just woke up in the grass! Can I get some sympathy here?"  Giyuu spoke with a teasing tone, smiling warmly. 

"Wait... Giyuu.. Did you forget what happened?" 

(Some people who have panic attacks find it difficult to recall what happened just before or during an attack. Panic-related memory loss can happen for some of the same reasons that general anxiety leads to memory loss. I got this direct information from google. If you want to see it, search: "Can you forget from panic attacks?") 

"I guess. Why? What happened?" He raised an eyebrow, looking the other male in the eye.

It had already taken Sanemi so much to say that they needed to break up the first time. How was he supposed to tell him this time? 

"...Nothing. Just get in the shower and head to bed. We have a long day tomorrow. 

~~~~

Hey you guys! Sorry that this was a short chapter, I just have like 0 motivation. I also had a busy week, but that's no excuse. I promise the next chapter will be better! I love you guys! 

Music I listened to while making this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_axvS2YqqI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jvl2e6X6PA4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1LBT4HLYYw&t=569s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDNm6_Xu_uI