It's not over || Veda Mektubu

Invitation

-Ziya-

Alanur's words are still in my mind. What did she mean that times changed and that now I should send an email or a message? It seems that I left her, but not she... I will have to found out what did she meant about that... With these thoughts I came back to my house, I deeply breathed in and breathed out. In this house I live with my wife, my children and my wife's brother's family. You're asking why do I breath in and breath out before going in to my house? Because... I never loved my wife, I felt only respect for her and also I was thankful for her because of our children. But being in this house is suffocating me. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. I was feeling like that for twenty eight years. Since that day when I got a farewell letter from Alanur. I didn't want to marry Seher, but it was my parents desire and when Alanur left me, I couldn't say no to my parents. Everytime when I was suffocating in this house, I was always going to my work room. I could be in there alone with my thoughts and memories. This room also was full of memories about Alanur...
When I came in the house, in front of me was Seher.
S:-Where have you been, Ziya?-She was asking.
Z:-I was in a meeting, then I had to give a ride for gallery's owner and her daughter to a hospital.-I answered.
S:-What happened? I hope that you're okay.-Said Seher.
Z:-I am okay. I said that I had to give a ride, so it was not for me.-I answered.
S:-Okay, I am happy to hear that. I hope that they're okay too. What do you want for dinner?-Asked Seher.
Z:-It doesn't matter for me, just please I don't want chicken. I am going to my work room.-I answered and I went to my work room because I didn't want to speak with Seher anymore.
When I went in, I unlocked my desk and found a letter which I got from Alanur twenty eight years ago. Yes...It's still with me, I couldn't throw it away just like other things which reminded me of her. I don't know how much times I read that letter and everytime it still hurts to read it. After reading a letter, I took a photo from the desk. It was Alanur's photo. She was beautiful back then and she is still beautiful...

-Alanur-

When I came in to my house with Beste, I asked to make me a coffee from my helper Kathy. I had a terrible headache and looked that it could explode any minute now.
A:-Oh my god, I am so tired.-I said to Beste.
B:-It's because you don't have enough vitamins in your body. Why didn't you eat, mommy?-Asked Beste.
A:-You know, I didn't feel good, I had a fever and then also that meeting with Ziya after many years. Everything was added in one place and I was stressful because of that. You know that when in my life there is a lot of stress, I can't eat anything.- I answered.
B:-But please,mum, from now on take care of yourself...Or I will ask to take care of you from mr. Ziya.-Said Beste and laughed.
A:-Shut up already, Beste. I really don't understand what did he do with us.- I said.
B:-What don't you understand? You fell in his arms when you fainted and then I came, then we went to the hospital and everything else you already know.-Beste said.
A:-Oof, and where did he come from after all these years? He didn't need me many years ago and now he pretends that he cares about me. He is a real fool...- I said.
B:-Don't say that. He seems a nice person because he took care of us. I still don't understand why did he left you.-Beste said.
A:-Oof, Beste. Don't start please. I am hungry, can you ask Kathy to cook something for us while I will be in a shower?-I asked.
B:-Of course, mommy.-Beste said.

After these words I went to my room.; I remembered that Beste said that when I fainted, I fell in to Ziya's arms. Then I smelled my jacket. It was full of Ziya's scent. After he left me I could sleep only with his sweater, which had his scent. After this scent was gone, all these years it is still hard to sleep for me until now. It was hard without him all these years but now it's even harder, when he is somewhere near, but not with me. I hugged my jacket and smelled it because of Ziya's scent. A tear rolled down my cheek, but I wiped it away and went to the shower because I needed to remove a hospital's scent from me.
After a shower I put on sweats and I wanted to go downstairs but I got a call. There was no name, so I didn't know who was calling, so I just picked:
A:-Hello?
Z:-Hello, it's Ziya.-Ziya said.
A:-What do you want and where did you get my phone number?-I asked.
Z:-I got your number from Onur. I wanted to ask how are you?-Ziya said.
A:-Oh my god Ziya, I am okay. I don't understand you. What do you want from me?-Asked Alanur.
Z:-I was worried about you.-Ziya answered.
A:-Don't pretend that you care about me, Ziya.-I said.
Z:-But I really do. Why don't you believe me?-Ziya said.
I laughed sarcastically and with a raised voice tone said:
A:-Why don't I believe you? Maybe you should go to the past in your mind and remember?
Z:-I don't understand you. Please calm down.-Ziya said to Alanur.
A:-No one will tell me what to do. Especially you. Okay, you know that I am okay. Bye.- I said and I hung up my phone, but then I got a text message from Ziya:

---------------------------Message------------------------------
Since you don't want to talk, I guess you are not okay. You hung up your phone, so I didn't say, but I would like to invite you and your daughters for a dinner with my family this friday to celebrate a project.
-Ziya.
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What the hell does he want from me. I really don't understand.-Alanur was thinking, but she put all these thoughts from her head and went downstairs where Beste already was waiting for her.
B:-Mom, are you okay? You look nervous.-Beste said.
A:-Oh really? Maybe because Ziya called and after then he sent a message.-Alanur said.
B:-What does he want?-Asked Beste.
A:-He is inviting me, you and Asli to a dinner in his family house to celebrate a project.-Alanur said.
B:-Will we go? You know, after few days Asli will come for one week.-Beste said.
A:-I don't know, Beste, I don't know. You know that I don't want to go, but I guess we will have to...

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Hello, my readers.
I came with a new chapter. I hope you will like it.

-See you in next chapter.