Off Limits ( NEW VERSION COMING SOON! )

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 |14|

"Do you want to have that conversation now?" I said softly, twisting my body around in lap with my legs wrapped around his waist.

I shifted and adjusted myself in his lap before peering up at him.

My eyelids fluttered closed and I pushed the dark strains of hair out of my face from the fan blowing in our direction.

The vein in his neck tightened and popped out.  "No." He shook his head with his eyes never shifting down on me.

My lip twitched and quivered. "Zade?" I tried again, feeling small and vulnerable in the lap of the man who had meant something to me.

With the feelings extending and growing rapidly over the past five weeks we had started this.

I didn't know what to call it. There were no labels, no limitations.

Just two people who spent time with each other, actively in the bedroom and outside the bedroom.

"I would like to have that conversation now." I decided to take a step forward in the direction of this conversation since he didn't seem to want to have it.

Sometimes, we had to push ourselves to have conversations and talks about things neither group or party wanted to have.

"Do you really love me?" My voice came out low, and for a second I had wondered if he had heard me.

A large part of me had hoped he had forgotten the words he had uttered so easily earlier.

But, a small fraction had hoped he meant every single one of them, that he had remembered his words and didn't say them given the circumstances.

He leaned forwards and reached for the tv remote and paused the action movie in the background.

I watched his head slowly raise up until our eyes met. His eyes were filled with many emotions, looking directly into mine.

I choked out a sob and felt the warm tears blur my vision and felt the tears run down my cheeks.

He set the remote down on the night stand and gripped my face softly in the palm of my hands.

"I do love you, Eleanor." He brushed away the remaining tears and the newly formed tears falling down my cheeks.

I sobbed even louder if that was possible. For some reason, my emotions were heightened.

I buried my face in his chest, feeling his shirt become heavy and soaked with wetness from the tears soaking through his shirt.

"Zade I-" He shook his head and placed his face in the crook of my neck and sighed.

"You don't need to say anything. At least not right now. I was wrong with the way I had handled the situation."

"But." He pulled my face out of his chest and stared down at me. "Is it so hard to believe someone other than your family loves you?"

I tensed at the question and then thought about it for a second. Timidly, I nodded my head stiffly.

I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to tell him something I had never told anyone.

"Lucas." I choked up. "Your son had once told me loving me was something hard, something nearly impossible."

I thought back to when he had once uttered those words and remembered how much it had hurt to hear them.

I believed him, I had considered myself a difficult person to be loved from how closed off I was.

But with Zade, I found myself wanting to spill my deepest, darkest secrets.