Unattainable Fruit

Chapter 26: Preperation & Arrival

James' POV

The past few days have been a blur of training with Cody and Jessie, planning the Pack Run with Alex and Zee, and trying my best to stay afloat in school. All while managing to not let my heart give out on me with the looking reminder of my parents showing up at any moment.

It's finally Saturday morning, the day of the pck run, and I'm running around doing last minute checks making sure that everything is as it should be. I mentally try to remember every little detail and preferences my father always told me, heat flashing through me as I worry about missing something.

'Fuck, James, you need to take a fucking breath.' Sloan tells me, but it's hard to ignore his own paralyzing fear, the unspoken truth that he could be shoved away and forced down once again. Something I've refuse to acknowledge.

Something I can't.

So instead, I ignore him, rushing towards the starting line in front of the pack house, the finishing line on the other side of the building.

I find some of the volunteers one of them a chef at the local pub. "Alice, did you make sure that the food will be ready on time? And will there be a cake to celebrate? Will there be drinks? Did you make sure there was moonshine for the Elders? Actually what time are the Elders supposed to be here." She tries to answer but the moment she does another worry crashes through my mind and out of my mouth until my heart is starting to pound and my breath quickens.

"Okay, how about we let the nice lady get a chance to answer." I hear, the sweetest voice that seems to calm some of the storm inside of me. I turn my head slightly and see Cody walk up beside me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder and granting me a sweet smile. "I've already set up the bar inside, ice on standby. Zee has arranged for the Elders to arrive at eleven right before the race begins. She also hired that Warlock yesterday to use his mirror magic to broadcast the race and he agreed. It's only seven forty three right now, and I'm sure Alice will have all the food ready, but most importantly fresh, for the pack and Elders to enjoy, isn't that right?" He asks patiently directed at the chef and she nods confidently seeking relieved that Cody came along.

And honestly I am too.

He might claim he doesn't thrive socially but I can honestly say he was born to be a Luna.

Right now, he's doing a hell of a lot better job than me.

I offer Alice an apology which she waved off with a smile before Cody leads me away and away from the set up, stopping beneath a willow tree that's been here as long as I can remember. His hazel eyes connect with mine and I see the worry in them which kills me. I'm not supposed to be someone he worried about. I'm supposed to be someone he can lean and depend on. A mix of emotions, namely shame, course through me and I can't bare to meet those eyes, knowing how much more be deserves.

He reaches out and rubs my arms softly, his touch comforting and excruciating all at once.

His voice is soft when he speaks, no judgement, not even a hint of malice, and I think in a way, it almost makes me feel worse. "James, baby, it's okay. I just need you to breathe. I know this is hard, and that this will be scary. I told you, you have the choice to let this continue until, hopefully, maybe, he leaves and let's you do what you want, or you take back your life. Every time he makes you jump, every time you can't sleep, every time you question yourself, or ignore Sloan, he's winning. Every time you push me away, he's winning. And James, you didn't give up on me when you told me I was your Mate, you didn't give up on the meeting we had with all of us even if it was unprecidented. Since when do you let anyone or anything change your mind? I don't want him to win. I want you to. I want us to, so we can protect our home and have the lives we told ourselves was impossible. Don't you want that?" I still can't look at him, but tears are filling my eyes because he's right, fuck I know he's right.