Unattainable Fruit

Chapter 35: Waiting & Blessings

James' POV

We sit on the floor of the hallway, the only room in this damned house that doesn't have a clock. We turned our phones off as soon as we arrived, agreeing that this weekend was about Cody, and the two of us, no work allowed, and friends understood.

Jessie and eventually Sloan spent a few hours down at the beach before Cody went crazy in the water, but that only distracted us for a few hours. We ate some food and suffered through a movie before finally giving up on trying to ignore it. At that point we were watching the clocks like its own movie until an impossibly slow minutes drove us to retreat into the hallway.

I had ventured out for some snacks a little while ago and the clock had finally ready ten forty six. Our conversation about how different this beach is from the two in Vollmond lulls, and after reaching for Cody's hand, I stand up. Once's he's standing too, I lead Cody and I into the bedroom, leaving the lights off, though the moon and mana street lamps cast enough light to see the unshed tears in Cody's eyes when he sees the time on the clock.

Eleven fifty three.

My breath catches in my throat, my heart skipping a beat before falling into a sprint, anxiety crawling up my throat. But I try to stay strong, pulling in a deep breath as I sit on the bed, Cody coming sit beside me, shoulder to shoulder.

"Are you scared?" I ask him, ask into the darkness, halfway wishing I could reach into the belly of time and freeze it, preserving this moment. This thin slice of time where we may be or may not, but as long as we never look, we'll never know for sure. But I can't freeze time, and it ticks away, the knowledge inevitably coming to force me to face reality. Whether I want to or not.

Eleven fifty-four.

"Terrified. You?" He asks, his hand dropping between us, reaching for my own hand, which I give him, holding his tightly. I'm unable to turn towards him, unable to face him, fear consuming me, comforting me, challenging me.

"Terrorized." I admit which earns a chuckle but left with silence.

It seems to weigh heavy. All that's been said, and all that's been left to be hangs in the air suspended. Waiting. My breathing stalls, and I realize I don't hear Cody's either, our hands holding on to each other for dear life, neither of us moving an inch.

Eleven fifty-five.

'James? What if-?' Sloan starts, tears clear in his voice, our panic and fear shared.

'I know. I don't know.' I admit, wishing I felt as confident as I did the day I told Cody I was his Mate and that I would make him fall in love with me. I did it.

But now faced with the seconds ticking away, I'm forced to admit that I selfishly dragged Cody into a reality he didn't ask for. Something that could ruin everything depending on how things go.

Eleven fifty six.

I hear Cody sniffing, turning away to hide the faint glistening of his tears in the moonlight, but I don't let him. I use my hand to turn his head, his eyes raising to find matching tears streaming my own cheeks as I squeeze his hand in comfort.

You're not alone.

Eleven fifty-seven.

"James, I love you. Thank you for talking to me. Thank you for bringing me back to life. Thank you for showing me I still have things to live for." He tells me, voice shaking and it breaks me, it fills me, it redeems me.

Eleven fifty-eight

"I love you, too, Cody. I'm sorry if I got your hopes up. Whether sanctioned by Celeste or not, to me, you will always be the one I belong with. Thank you for being there for me even when it was me that was supposed to be strong. I'm here. Always." I promise him, hating the time for slipping away, hating not knowing, hating that something so huge and monumental to us is left up to something as whimsical and crude as fate.