Ottaviano ✓

♥ Chapter Forty Two ♥

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           •••••••• Ottaviano ••••••••✓

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Rage.

    That's one emotion that I have been feeling for the past two days. I'm angry at Jasmine for been involved with me knowing she wouldn't love me. I'm angry at Lorenzo for being comfortable with expressing his feelings, and I'm fucking angry with myself for catching feelings for someone who would never settle for someone like me.

     I've been avoiding Jas like a plague these past two days simply because I didn't trust myself to remain in control in her presence. I never seem to be in control of anything while I'm close to her and I fucking know I would have thought with my dick and not my fucking head if I was near her.

   Not matter how much I convince myself that I don't need her for anything but pleasure, my heart seems to disagree. And as much as I need her, my feelings don't fucking matter. Because at the end of the day, she doesn't feel the same way about me. I will never be enough for her. She needs someone like E, who can easily communicate and be open with her. Someone who will be romantic and shit with her. I don't know a fucking shit about romance.

  He's right for her.

   ‘‘Can you stop fucking pouting you look like fucking bitchass frog” Ales says snapping me out of my thoughts

  ‘‘Fuck you” I say. I get up from the couch that has been holding my weight for hours now before moving to the corner of the room for an alcohol refill

  ‘‘What? You look like a little bitch sitting their with a fucking pout” Ales continues with his bullshit. I wasn't pouting

  I throw an empty bottle of whiskey at his head but his quick reflexes kick in as he moves away just before the glass connects with his fucking big head.

   ‘‘Keep fucking with me and you'll lose an organ or fucking two” I say going back to sit down

    All Ales does is flip me off and continues to go through the records. I've been at the warehouse for the past three days making sure everything was looking good ahead of the shipment coming in this week. We just got ourselves the biggest deal with the Mexican Don worth millions of dollars. The first shipment will be in my possession containing thousands of drugs you can name.

    I need everything to go smoothly and leave no fucking trace behind. Even though I basically own majority of the country, they are still a number of policemen who are honest and can't be bought with money. But they'll submit if I left them with no choice. No one wants to see their family been torn from limb to limb. Trust me they submissive. But I'm not in the mood for that this week

 
    ‘‘I'm going out for something to eat, do you need some?” Ales says as he rises to his 6'2 figure. He's dressed in his casual attire consisting of a dark shade of green t-shirt, black cargo pants and black boots. His tattoos and piercing left out on display. He's a good looking motherfucker and he fucking knows it

  ‘‘I'm good” I say gruffly flipping the page over to the next one

  ‘‘You haven't eaten anything since morning” he lifts a brow at me

‘‘And I'll fucking eat when I feel hungry” I reply challenging him to take this any further and being the ballsy motherfucker he is, he still presses on

  ‘‘Fucking die on me and I'm setting your family on fire” He seriously says maintaining eye contact with me

  ‘‘You wouldn't dare” he would dare.

   After a silent battle with our eyes, I groan before getting up and following out of the room. I should probably get home

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    I get home an hour after having dinner with Ales. Even though I'd never tell him that, I really needed that. I drive to the front of my house nodding at Pablo and Carlito on my way there. They're one of the best guys in the system. But then again small mistake from them, and I wouldn't hesitate to blow their heads off. No mistakes in my family.

    I get out of my car and head straight to my room for a much needed shower. After getting done with the quick shower, I dress in gray sweatpants and a tight white t-shirt before sitting on my bed with a cigarette at my mouth. I look at the digital clock on my gray walls, 9:07pm. Two more hours before Jas goes to sleep and I can finally leave the room. Yes, I'm avoiding her.

   I just don't want to fucking complicate things. I'll stay out of her way and she'll be free to meet up with E without it being awkward. Even though I don't give a fuck. I'd probably fuck her brains out at the entrance of my home withouts giving a shit. Fuck I miss her.

 
  ‘‘Ottav?” My heads quickly snaps at the nickname I haven't heard in years. My eyes connect to a distressed Rio and I immediately stand, moving closer to him as he stands in my doorway playing with the hem of his shirt.

    There's a lot wrong with this moment, one being Rio completely stopped using the nickname they'd use growing up, after Ria passed. Two, he has unshed tears in his eyes that are identical to mine. And that foes not sit right with me, I haven't seen my brother cry since he was seventeen. Looking at him now only proves one thing, I still hate seeing him cry as much as I did when he was a toddler.

   ‘‘What's wrong? Did someone hurt you? Who was it? Just give me a name, that's all I need. I-i promise I'll make it better ju–”

‘‘A-ahogo” Rio whispers as a tear run down his freckled cheek. (Drowning). My eyes widen as I pull him into a tight hug. I take advantage of our height difference and kiss the top of his head.

 
   When the twins were about four, we were out playing like usual since they wouldn't leave me alone. One time while I was building a rocket near the water, Rio fell into the poor and almost drowned. I immediately abandoned everything and jumped in to save him, this of course terrified Ria resulting in her jumping in as well. By the time the guards came to our rescue, I was holding the both of them above my head while I almost drowned. That apparently scarred the twins and they clung to me every opportunity they got.

    Ahogo is a word we would use everytime we felt any feelings close to chocking, suffocating or drowning. And the twins would sneak in my room and only fell asleep while holding on to me. Our parents tried to separate us so many time but every time they did, one of the twins would black out. They stopped doing it after that and just watch the twins cling to me all day long till they felt safe.

    The last time Rio was like this was years ago. After he was informed about Ria and he hasn't done it again since then. So this is surprising and very concerning. I wondered what triggered this.

    I move us to the bed laying down as Rio lays down on my left side putting his head on my chest as I wrap my arms around him. I pull the blanket over us as I kiss his forehead as he silently cries into my chest. One thing I hate about this is whole situation is that there's nothing I can do about it. Hearing my brother sob into my chest makes me feel helpless. Useless.

   I'm just glad Rio thought he'll never be too old to come to me. Because I don't care whether he's 20 or 60, as long as I'm alive, I'll always be here for him. I am not be able to take away his mental pain but I'll always be here to hold him. He'll always be the little baby I helped cut the umbilical cord for. My little baby

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Short chapter I know..... Sorry 😩

But I hope you enjoyed the little chapter.

Warning‼️

   The chapters will be fast paced and very dark from this moment. If you're uncomfortable with any of it, please stop reading from here.

  Be rude in my comments and I'm blocking you🤞🏾 promise.

Enjoy 💙