Freddie: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
John: That's deep.
Roger: That means that ketchup is a smoothie.
John: That's deeper.
Brian: ...You guys are idiots.
Freddie: I told Roger to grab snacks for everyone.
Brian, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?
*Freddie, Roger, and John raise their hands*
Freddie: Where is Roger?
Brian: I'll do you one better, who is Roger??
John: Here's a better question, why is Roger?
Freddie: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions.
Brian: Ridiculous. Give me some examples.
John: Wasps?
Roger: Terriers?
Freddie: Roger.
Roger: So, what, now I'm just supposed to do anything Brian does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?
John: If Brian were to jump off a cliff, they would've done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Brian jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Freddie: You jump off a cliff!
John: Gladly, provided Brian did first.
Brian, teaching John to drive: Okay, you're driving and Freddie and Roger walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
John: Oh, definitely Roger. I could never hurt Freddie.
Brian, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.
Brian: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?
John: Put spaghetti in it.
Brian: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.
Roger: Put spaghetti in it.
Brian: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.
Freddie: Put spaghetti in it.
Brian: I am no longer taking suggestions.
John: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.
Freddie: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.
Roger: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.
Brian: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.
Brian: *tapping fingers on table*
Roger: *taps fingers back furiously*
John: ...What's going on?
Freddie: Morse code. They're talking.
Brian: *aggressively slaps table*
Roger: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
Roger: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Brian: No, that's not how you make cookies.
John: FLOOR IT!!
Roger: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Brian: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Roger: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Freddie: DO IT!
Brian: NO-
Brian: For most of human history, vehicles had automatic collision avoidance and could even take you home if you were asleep or drunk. But then we got rid of the horse.
Freddie: You complete moron. You stupid fucking idiot. "Cars would be better if they could bite and shit" – that was you just now, dumbass.
Freddie: "Wouldn't it be cool if cars could piss? Wouldn't it be cool if cars could fuck?" Fuck off.
Roger: It would be cool if cars could fuck.
John: We... We still have horses.
YOU ARE READING
It's Queen ramble time babey
RandomWhat it says on the tin. I might get unhinged as fuck.
