₁.₀ YES TO HEAVEN; peter pevensie ✔

011.

Birdie doesn't know what to do. It's infuriating, and manifests through the girl nervously biting her lip.

So far, many things that happened to her in Narnia were ones that she had not seen coming. But, somehow, the fact that the Great Lion might be wishing to talk to her privately is one of the strangest of all. As she follows him outside the camp to fall into step at his side at last, a dozen thoughts fill her head. None of those brings her any of the desired answers.

If she were to see any of the Pevensies deep in conversation with Aslan, Birdie wouldn't really be surprised. They each have a part to play in the upcoming war, after all. An important one, foretold by an ancient prophecy. It's not hard to imagine there must be plenty to talk through between any of the future kings and queens and the Great Lion.

But her?

"I've been meaning to speak to you for some time now."

Birdie can't resist stealing a glance at her companion. Perhaps she shouldn't be surprised to find him already looking at her, with those wise eyes of his. As usual, Aslan's tone remains calm. Patient, even. And his face matches it perfectly, although there's something else there, too...

It almost feels as though he was sympathetic towards her, and Birdie can't imagine why.

"Why now, then?" she asks in return. Her eyes widen almost instantly, hearing the way her voice comes out of her mouth - it sounds more like an accusation than a genuine question. "I didn't mean..." Birdie trails off, unsure of how to phrase her intentions. She's unsure of her intentions, too.

"I know. You still feel upset. Angry, even, and I know myself to be one of the reasons why. I wanted to give you some time for your emotions to settle a bit."

She's been afraid she might have done something wrong. Birdie knows she was far from enthusiastic when their first arrived at the camp, and it couldn't have slipped Aslan's attention. It's true, that there is quite a lot of anger within her at present, but a part of her screams at her to deny it all. What if he sees her feelings as an offence towards himself? Especially since he is right, there are things Birdie holds against him, too.

"Well, I wouldn't go that far as to say I feel angry." But then she sees the look he's giving her. Birdie shrugs her shoulders with a heavy sigh coming from her lips. "Okay, maybe I do. But I don't mean that in a malicious way, I just... I feel lost. And I don't understand."

"All changes require time. You cannot blame yourself for it."

No, that's not it. Maybe it makes her sound proud, but Birdie doesn't seek blame within herself. She has got some faults - which brings her no pleasure to admit, but then again, who doesn't? - but the predicament they've found themselves in is far from being her fault. All she's done was try to keep them safe, even if it meant voicing out some of her most controversial opinions.

"I don't understand," she says at last, "why it is that I am here at all. With Peter, with all of his siblings, it's clear. Their arrival has been foretold for years, and it gives their presence in Narnia meaning. I feel like I lack it whatsoever."

Aslan hums. "Peter asked about that, too. He cares a lot for your fate." Intentionally or not, he proceeds not to say anything when a look of surprise flashes across Birdie's features. "And I shall tell you the same thing I told him. There is the Deep Magic governing all that happens in Narnia. Whether we understand its ways or not - and they often remain a mystery to us - everything takes place for a reason, there are no mistakes. Your path may be hidden from your sight just yet, but it doesn't mean it does not exist."

"And what if that's not enough?" Birdie's voice breaks just a little, due to anger of sadness, she doesn't know. "I want a reason. A clear one. Faith is not enough to keep me going, not when all I do is keep wandering in the dark."