₁.₀ YES TO HEAVEN; peter pevensie ✔

027.

Birdie has never been one to truly raise her voice while angry. She would be harsh and she would be bitter, yet her arguments would always be delivered with steady demeanor, even if it meant her gaze turning cold.

Now, however, she almost wishes it was different. Perhaps, if she finally did let her emotions get the better of her like Peter himself tends to do, she would make him understand that there are things in this world not worth fighting for, simply because they are impossible. Just like her being given her life back.

As if she would even want it done with the aid provided by the White Witch in the first place.

What was he thinking, asking his brother not to tell her about what happened by the Stone Room? Even if Lucy wasn't the one to reveal the truth to her, Birdie would have known something was amiss just by how strange Edmund was acting, avoiding casting a single glance in her direction. She refuses to believe Peter would be naive to expect otherwise.

There is a great difference between being selfish and simply caring for one's wellbeing. If the both of them wish the past could have been different, allowing them to have a proper life together - and they do wish it - it's only natural. Hell, it's what they deserve, nothing could be said to change Birdie's mind on that matter. Not just that fifteen years, but any amount of time, until she becomes fed up with his stubbornness and he tires of her prevailing need to always be in the right, which will never actually happen.

It shouldn't even seem like such a grand thing to ask, because so many are given it without sacrificing half as much as they had.

But the Witch, even if she spoke the truth about possessing the ability to somehow grant Bridie her life back, would never truly allow it. There would be a catch to the offer, rather bigger than small. She wouldn't be surprised to find both Peter and herself puppets, dancing to the tune dictated by Jadis: she - because it would be the woman's power that animates her, and he - because it would be his blood that seals the deal. Nothing would be their own anymore. It would hardly be worth being called a life.

She can't help but feel that, should Peter have gone through with it, she would never be able to forgive him. And he wouldn't forgive himself, either.

Yet his faith in Aslan crumbles further, each day they have to make do without his help. Over the years, despite peace prevailing in Narnia almost without interruptions, in his heart Peter has gathered many reasons to hold a grudge against the Great Lion. Unlike Lucy, he can't accept that Aslan's actions may be beyond mere human comprehension, which leads him to feel like they have been deserted, left to fend on their own against a much stronger enemy. And not for the first time, either.

He's not really alone in that troubling belief, because Birdie understands him better than anyone. Truth be told and all things considered, she has even more of a reason to hold back when it comes to placing her trust in the Great Lion, no questions asked. The way she sees it... it's quite unfair, really. As her gaze shifts across the faces of the few Narnians gathered around now, Birdie can't help but feel the taste in her mouth turn bitter as they all light up upon the mention of his name. None of them have ever seen Aslan themselves, neither their parents nor grandparents. No one has, for several centuries, during which decay took over the entirety of the land which once used to be a prospering kingdom underneath the Great Lion's banners. And yet - despite the fact that he had done nothing to prevent their suffering - the people of Narnia still perceive him as a deity of great wisdom and power.

Birdie might remember nothing about her life in England and very little about their beginning in Narnia, but she knows enough to come to the conclusion that too much is expected of the Pevensies. Perhaps not so much now like in the past, when they were simply children, torn away from their home and thrust into the middle of a war they had been told not only to participate in, but lead and come out victorious. However, even with vast experience end crowns adorning their foreheads - at the moment rather figuratively than literally - their actions receive not enough recognition. It seems like, despite the fact that they are the ones fighting the war, Aslan would be named the true victor, the main force responsible for defeating the current threat looming over Narnia.