(5) When the thoughts flood in (5)

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As I walked into class i sat down and watched as the teacher started writing equations on the board. I put my head in my arms leading over, then everything kicked in. My heart started to pace as I remember Macaques words. It is my fault isn't it? Its my fault hes gone and it's my fault he isn't coming back. Its all my fault.

Why did he do it.

Its all my fault.

I should have told him that.

Why him?

Why did he have to leave?

   What did i do to deserve this?

Why does it haunt me so much.

Make it stop.

Stop being so loud.

Its my fault.

Its all my fault.

Hes gone.

Why.

Why did you do it lui'er.

I needed you.

I needed-

"SUN WUKONG!" My teacher yelled. I immediately lifted my head up as my body shot up. I looked up at the teacher. "Yes sir?" I asked. The teacher narrowed his eyes at me before speaking, "Answer the question on the board.". I squinted at the board, im not good with words. I watched as the words became scrambled and i got confused. Didn't this guy know i cant read?

I should probably explain. I was diagnosed with dyslexia at the age of 6. Its hard to read or look at words became it was complex and it was flat out confusing. Mr. tang used to read to me and help me understand the words but it never clicked so pigsy read to me aloud. (Because canon wukong cant read <3)

"Sir, if I may. I can't read." I said calmly. "Quit your excuses wukong." He said in an offended tone. I rolled my eyes then sat up straight. "Can you please just read the word out?" I asked. The teacher shook his head. "You never do your work, you always get pulled out and read to. Are you a baby?" He said angrily. "I have severe dyslexia. So either you can read this shit to me or I can call my parents." I said sturn. He rolled his eyes and read out the question again. I sighed then thought for a second. Mk knew this um... A² + B² = C². Ughhh what was it?! Its a, a um, fuck.

"A right triangle?" I said sheepishly. He looked at me for a second then started to slowly clap. "Atleast you got it right." He stated. I rolled my eyes once more. Then something hit my head. There was Macaque sitting behind me. Again.

"What the hell man." I said. He just shrugged before putting his feet on the back of my seat. He began to taunt me. Throwing stuff at me, Poking me, Hitting my shoulder. I was finally done and threw a pen at him but he caught it. "What would lui'er think if you were bulling a new boy hm?" Macaque said with a smirk across his face.

I glared at him and he just sat back in his seat. Why can't he shut his mouth about lui'er. "Can you please just fucking stop?" I growled. Macaque started to laugh. "Feisty are we?" He said quiet. "You should get out of lady's grasp before you do something you might regret. Drop out of her royal roleplay shit." I said serious. "You dont tell me what to do. Besides it was your fault, wasnt it?" He purred. He sounded like mason. Another lap dog of Lady's. I fucking hate it here.

He kept repeating reasons of how it was my fault that lui'er is gone. I finally had enough. I got up, turned around and slammed my hands on his desk. "You want to truth? You want me to admit it? Fine. It's my fault lui'er is gone. Its my fault he's dead and not coming back. Its ALL. MY. FAULT." I looked him dead in the eyes starting to tear. Suddenly his gaze softened as if he had just seen, hell i dont know. The love of his life. He was soft, his gaze sadden before i raised mu hand and ran to the bathroom slamming the stall door. I started to cry and sob, trying not to be loud or annoying. After all thats all I've ever been. Isn't it?

Why does it always have to be me?

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