Psych Fanfic (Shassie)

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TW: betrayal, suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide

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"No, Shawn. I'm done."

"What?" Shawn tried to laugh off the situation, "Gus, come on."

Gus threw his coat over his arm and grabbed the door handle, "I'm sick of this. I'm sick of you. You never listen to me and you're always reckless. And you're a liar, Shawn. You're not a damn psychic. You're LYING to the POLICE! I'm not going to have anything to do with this anymore. I tried to be your friend, but you're making it really hard to want to be around you." With that, Gus opened the door and left the Psych office.

Shawn stood there and leaned against the table, trying to make sense of what just happened. What did he do wrong?

You messed up. You always mess up, but this time you really, really fucked up.

Shawn convinced himself that Gus would be back tomorrow, and that he could apologize then. Surely, there was some... misunderstanding, right? Shawn thought backwards and realized how many times he had let Gus down and pushed aside his opinions.

There goes his friend. His best friend. His only friend.

Shawn struggled to hold back tears only to have streams come pouring down his face.

No! Gus will be back, and then you can apologize.

Shawn exhaled and leaned off the table, wiped his eyes, and went home.

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Sulking, Shawn entered the police station alone.

"Good morning, Mr. Spencer," Chief Vick greeted as she walked by. Shawn failed to respond and kept walking, slower than usual seeing no point to rushing. Chief Vick stopped and turned to him, "Where is Mr. Guster?"

Shawn took in a deep breath and turned around, forcing a smile, "Oh, he's sick today, so it's just me."

"Oh. Alright. Tell him I send my condolences."

"Will do!" Shawn turned back around, sighing under his breath and once again holding back tears.

"Shawn, you okay?" Juliet came up to him.

Shawn forced another grin, "Yeah, of course." Although, just the act of someone asking if he was okay made tears prick in his eyes.

"Well, do you wanna help Lassiter and I on a case?" She smiled, holding a file.

"Actually, I'm busy on my own case right now, sorry." Shawn slipped past her, knowing fully well he didn't have a case.

Juliet paused, looking really confused, "Shawn, wait!"

"Juliet, really. Lassiter wouldn't want me there anyways." Shawn almost whispered, a sob rising in his throat.

After hearing Shawn's tone and his calling Lassiter by his name and not "Lassie", Juliet was now thoroughly concerned, "Shawn. Please?" She thought that she might be able to get him feeling better with a case to solve.

Shawn sighed, "Fine."

Juliet led Shawn over to where Lassiter was leaning over a desk covered in evidence.

"Why'd you bring HIM here?" Lassiter scoffed.

Shawn's breath caught and he averted his eyes. Of course, it hurt every single time Lassiter grimaced at his presence, but he never showed it. But right now, it made him feel worse than ever. Lassiter saw the pain in Shawn's face and was taken aback, "S-sorry."

"Nah, I get it." Shawn shrugged, still avoiding his eyes, "Sorry for being here." He turned to step away.

"Shawn!" Juliet grabbed Shawn's sleeve, "C'mon, you said you'd help!"

Shawn, still visibly hurt by Lassiter's prior words, turned around reluctantly, "Yeah, okay."

------------------------------Tɪᴍᴇ Sᴋɪᴘ

(A/N: I would make up a case, but I am absolutely horrible at mysteries and stuff, so there will be a time skip when it comes to things about their case. I'm sorry, and I thank you for your patience. ♡)

"Thanks, Shawn, you've been a great help!" Juliet grinned at her friend, who didn't grin back.

"Sure," Shawn muttered and started walking away before she could say anything else.

Lassiter then did something unexpected; he went after Shawn, "Spencer. Are you okay?"

Shawn looked down, still walking, "Yeah, I'm alright. Sorry."

"For what?" Lassiter walked by his side.

Shawn shrugged.

"Spencer," Lassiter grabbed Shawn's collar and spoke in his serious, professional tone, "What's wrong?"

Shawn, looking up for the first time in their conversation, glared directly at Lassiter, "Did you not hear me the first time? There's nothing wrong with me, so go solve your damn case."

In surprise, Lassiter released his grip on Shawn's shirt. Shawn took this opportunity to speed-walk away, and this time Lassiter let him go.

Shawn went out of the police station and straight to his motorcycle. Without even putting his helmet on, he started driving. Guilt creeped into his mind.

Great. You've made Lassiter upset too. You always upset everyone. You always ruin everything? Why don't you just disappear?

Shawn tried to push out the thoughts as he approached the bridge on the way back to his house. He gripped the handles harder in aggravation, speeding up.

Disappear.
Disappear.
Leave.
DIE.

Suddenly, Shawn jerked the handles sideways and slammed his motorcycle into the railing by the bridge. He flew off the bridge by impact, landing in the river with utmost force. Shawn heard a nearby screeching. Pain flooded Shawn's entire body, making him close his eyes.

Maybe it would stop hurting now. It would all be okay. The last thing Shawn saw was a blurry flash of a familiar face. Then the world faded.