Simultaneous // Josh & Jake Kiszka

Chapter Five

1 Week Ago...

You gripped the headboard tightly. Feeling like you were about to be split in half. He'd never fucked you like this before. So full of rage, so full of need.

You'd stood there until he was done playing games with you. His jaw clenched tightly as you skirted around the issue. And he'd been frank with you, asserting that he knew there was something you were keeping from him.

In the end, you'd come to verbal blows. You, standing on the edge of the truth. Him, looking up from below not knowing what was about to reign down. Both of you screaming at each other from the pits of aching frustration.

"Every time I try and help you, it's like I'm met with this wall of silence!" He raged, "It's like you faded away and I had no choice but to stand there and watch you disappear!"

The way he stood there in that towel. His curls almost air dried and wild, watching his stomach move as he tried to take in more breath. You couldn't bear to see him like that. More beautiful than he ever been, but you'd ruined him.

"How the fuck do you expect me to tell you what's going on inside my head if I can't even explain it to myself?!" You asserted, feeling as if you had no right to this argument.

Josh had been so patient with you. The very definition of the help you needed to look for in a disaster. A vessel for all the love you no longer deserved. And you still continued to keep him in the dark.

"What the fuck are you afraid of?!" He asked, spreading his arms out as if all the fear inside you existed within that space. "What the fuck is so bad that you'd rather fade away than tell me?!"

Your brother. The one you came into this world beside. The half of you that exists beyond you. It's because of him. I have loved you both for so long that I don't even know who I am anymore. If I were to exist without you, I'd be lost. If I were to exist without him, I'd be lost. There is no border between the two of you anymore. I am his. But I remain yours. And I cannot reconcile that there is only one of me...

You couldn't say it. Instead, you gave in to the latent sexual tension that always bubbled beneath the surface between you and Josh. Even in anger, when he couldn't fathom you, he didn't stop you from desperately tugging away his towel and palming his cock diligently until he was solid as a rock.

"You can't fuck your way out of this." He told you, taking you into his arms, kissing you like he couldn't stand it, biting down on your bottom lip so hard it drew blood.

"Ouuchhh!" You gasped, pulling away, feeling the blood pool on your ripped flesh.

You slapped him. Without thinking. A jerk reaction that he responded to you with defiance. He didn't even flinch. He let you have it, just one moment that neither of you could take back. It was there in the flush mark reddening on his cheek. The blood on your lip.

You'd never argued before. It felt like a repose to the past year of calmness. Of having Josh be your guiding light. You needed this.

"What the fuck are you going to do now?" You asked, locked in a battle of wills.

He didn't say a word. He just began tearing at your clothes. Oh, it felt so good to feel the edges of his nails graze down your skin. The way he looked at you with equal love and disdain.

"Why won't you let me in?!" He whispered, his teeth at your neck as he ripped the elastic of your underwear.

"Fuck..." You hissed, "You are, baby...I swear. I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

He licked the blood from your lip, seizing you in a grip that was both pleasure and pain. You fell back, his body crushed against yours. All his tenderness locked away.