tanjiro inosuke and zenitsu were all preparing to go on a mission. tanjiro suddenly has a flashback WOO HAVENT HAD ONE OF THESE IN A WHILE camera zooms into tanjiros eye, insert that's so raven transition
tanjiro was a wee little boy watching his father do the succ dance in the middle of the night in cold snowy weather with his family.
"mom he's gonna fucking freeze to death why is he doing this" this was the weirdest dance he has ever seen and its literally -20°F outside there is no good reason to be doing this
"TANJIRO DON'T CURSE" his mom says "and no he will be fine he does this every new year"
"is this a mating ritual" one of his brothers asks
and that's where the flashback cuts off because it's way funnier that way
present tanjiro noted in his head, this must be where i got my succ abilities from.. my father must have had them too. he never mentioned anything though but HE DID mention another dance called the "yoinky sploinky" that other families would do. he mentioned this because tanjiro mentioned to him how fucking weird it was to dance in -20°F weather all night every year
"see tanjiro it's normal" his father had said. was it though. was it. i think ur in denial
flash forward but not all the way to present, insert that's so raven transition to a day or so ago
tanjiro was in shinobu's office getting his exam
"ok bookie ur all good thagts it u can go battle now bye please leave" shinobu says to him. he's been talking nonstop about his newly discovered bisexuality to everyone he's come across and shinobu has been stuck in her office with him for the last 20 minutes
"ok cool" tanjiro says bisexually "hey i was wondering just a random thing with no significance at all do u know anything about... the succ dance?" he asks. he doesn't wanna seem too suspicious but that memory makes him wonder where his powers came from.. if he can figure this out he may be able to become whole again. he hopes shinobu doesn't think he's sus
"nope lol" shinobu says
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK "ah okay i was just wonderijng because my family used to do it.. ok do you happen to know anything about the yoinky sploinky dance? i was told other families used to do it"
"oh yeah rengoku uses that breathing style" FUCK YESSSS INFO!!!!!
"but it's not the same as the succ style you mentioned." FUUUUUCK THE INFO!!!! "i don't know anything about that but rengoku-san might." FUCK YESSS POTENTIAL LEAD!!!! "he's out tho" FUCK??? MAYBE????
"OK THANK U QUEEN ILL ASK HIM IF I SEE HIM BYE" tanjiro says and runs out of the office slamming the door behind him
shinobu hears "hey did you know im bisexual! isnt that great!!!" muffled from the other side of the door. "those poor passerby" she thinks
FINALLY insert that's so raven transition back to present time
tanjiro recalls the weirdass alert they got to head to the train. he thought it was a fever dream but no zenitsu was actually right wtf was up with that one bird??
"hey bitches wake up its morning" the crow had said in the middle of the fucking night you dumbass bird what the fuck
"aaaaaaasuhuughghuhuhfg whos waking me up IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHTTTT" zenitsu says tiredly
"we got a situaaaaaationnnn" he says "there's a buncha people missing at the mugen train u gotta go and help with this shit alr head west peace out broskis" he says flying away
"what the fuck just happened" zenitsu says.
"haha yeah that was really weird" tanjiro says "alright guys lets get ready to head west!!"
"no like seriously what the fuck just happened why was he talking like that" zenitsu asks
"YEAHH ARE WE GONNA KISS MEN IN THE WEST??" inosuke asks
"haha idk man i guess we'll see!!" tanjiro says. "i may be able to succ some souls without being caught while i'm there," tanjiro thinks. "this will be mega loot supa heat"
what a weird memory. it's weird that he's focusing on this one crow but seriously who talks like that in taisho period japan which was a (1912–26) period in Japanese history corresponding to the reign of the Taishō emperor, Yoshihito (1879–1926) following the Meiji period and represented a continuation of Japan's rise on the international scene and liberalism at home. that crow should be fired. he will be contacting corporate
"hey guys i'll be back over in just one second" tanjiro says to zenitsu and inosuke. on his way out he had spotted a man who definitely looks like he would be rengoku's best friend and wants to see if he can figure out how to find him or get any new info early.
"alright gompachimiko be quick remember the men we need to kiss might be gone!!!" inosuke says as tanjiro leaves. zenitsu looks at him concerned
TO BE... CONTINUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU ARE READING
tanjiro: the suckening
Humor(CRACKFIC) moderate swearing a way-too-self-aware fic with decent lore about tanjiro on a journey to replenish his soul with his soul SUCCing powers. a story about self discovery and becoming an alpha gamer male and defeating your enemies this was b...
