The Death Tarot Card

better now?

She was there
After I got my diploma and hugged teachers
She was there, weaving through the crowd, looking for me frantically

And it was her
I knew it when she saw me
Her eyes got big and her smile was huge and just like a little kid, she proudly showed me the sign she made

It was tacky, bright green, and put together haphazardly
But it was sweet
And it meant so much more than just a poster board

And then she hugged me and I could feel her crying in my arms, her whole body shaked and she kept repeating how proud she was of me
She gave me 3 different cards
1 apologizing and saying how proud she was, another saying how proud she was and how much she loved me, and another one that popped out at you and had a joke

She took the time to get them
To pick them out and write in them
She made the poster
With all the glitter stickers and the weird strings of paperclips (i think they were paper clips)
She did all that for me

She was there the whole time and screamed my name when I walked across stage
For the first time a long while, she was there

And she wasn't waiting to leave or complaining
She was happy and she was proud of me

I never needed her validation
I needed her support, love, and presence

And I could feel all of it that day

I can begin to burn my candle

My only concern is, will this behavior continue?
Now that I won't be there to feel it
Or is it only temporary for today?
And she won't be herself like that until my next graduation

But that's tomorrow's worries
Right now, she was there
And I could feel all of what I've been wanting for so long

I didn't cry during graduation, but I almost did when she hugged me with that sign in her hand and her crying voice in my ear