The Death Tarot Card

bare minimum

For years I would've considered her my best friend
My ride or die, if you will

But I've come to find that I'm only talked to or wanted when there's an issue
In which she needs support
But that's what friends are for, right?

Except friends are supposed to always be there
To not put temporary romantic relationships over one another
But with this relationship in particular, there hasn't been any issues

Which, I'm glad there isn't
But that also means that to her, there's no need to talk to me
To include me
To think about how I may feel anymore

On multiple occasions, I've been blown off
Lied to and then seen other events happen when 2 hours ago, my event was impossible to do or attend
Or when I was promised something, when something in itself was only thought of to do because of me or my past actions, is now promised to someone else
Someone who she thought was immensely more important than me

And even on something as important as my own graduation, my own wishes were ignored just so this important person could go
And to make matters worse, the talk and apology that needs to happen for me and her to continue being friends, was sloppily done over text
And she truly believed that it would be okay

Instead of coming to me about questions and ideas, she went to someone above me who doesn't quite know of the severity of the situation and told me to "just get over it"

But you know what?
Maybe it doesn't matter anymore
Because I won't be here for the next 4 years
And I won't have to see, hear, or deal with any of this bullshit

And quite frankly, I'm not sure if an apology can fix this
A change in behavior can
But not just words

And I'm not sure she knows how to change her behavior
So maybe this friendship isn't supposed to last after high school
But I'm not sure

What I do know, is that her saying she misses me is absolute bullshit
You're not allowed to say that, if your behavior is the reason we're not talking