Being Simon Cowell's Niece

Travesty

  The whole ride to the therapist's office was silent. "Her name is Mrs. Alden." Simon said after taking the keys out from the car. I got out and followed behind him as he led me to her office. It was in a nice building and was on the fourth floor. We waited outside in the lobby area where the secretary was. Simon checked in with the secretary while I took a seat. I looked around the space, it was small and somewhat nice. There was a small plant in the corner, and there was a small table next to me with magazines. Simon took a seat next to me. I read  the clock on the wall opposite me and read 11:30.  

   A door next to the clock opened. "Lillian Cowell." A voice called. I slowly got up and walked towards the door, my heart beating fast. I walked inside to see a woman, maybe in the age of her mid-forties sitting on one of the three couches. I sat in the one directly across from her. She got up and closed the door, which I had forgotten to do. She sat back down and smiled, pulling a small chart from the cushion next to her.  

   "So from my understanding, your mom died when you were younger, you're dad was a drunk so you lived with your grandparents, then Simon took you in?" She asked. She wasn't trying to be rude, but for some reason, I felt somewhat offended. I nodded my head in response. "Simon says that you've had problems at school, and that he doesn't want you seen out in public with your boyfriend Louis. How do you feel about that?" She asked. I was already feeling uncomfortable.  

   "Fine I guess. I'm done with high school so I don't have to deal with that anymore." I said, avoiding the question about Louis. "Yes, but what about Louis?" She prodded. A whole wave of emotions swept over me, and I didn't know what to feel.  

    "I mean I don't like it but I guess that I understand where Simon is coming from." I replied. I saw her start to scribble in the notes. Great. "So how is Louis, what is he like?" She asked. I shifted my weight a little and looked down at the floor, and I felt my face whiten. "Is there a problem between you two?" She asked, concerned. I looked up," No everything is perfect, it's just..." I lost my words. I didn't know what to say. I heard her write more.  

   "You have feelings for him right?" She asked. I nodded my head. Geez, time was going so slow. "Does he tell you how he feels about you?" She asked. Why did she ask so many questions?  "Yes, most of the time." I said. "Do you respond to him?" She asked, directly. "Sometimes." I'm pretty sure that she could tell that I was getting uncomfortable. I looked down at the floor again. I didn't realized that the floor was white tile. It looked nice.She put the file down next to her, along with the writing utensil. "Lily, is this because of your parents?" She asked me.

   I looked up at her in shock, did she really just ask me that.  "Wh-what do you mean?" I asked. Great time for my stuttering to haunt me. "I think you know what I mean." She said calmly. Who was this lady to be asking me these types of questions? I felt the familiar watering and pricking of my eyes, and tried to fight the tears back from flowing. My throat began to throb as I tried not to let out a cry. I did not want to cry in front of this stranger and let her see my weakness. I tried doing what Louis said and imagining something funny, but it seemed impossible.  "You're scared to be loved." My mind said, taunting me.

   "Lily?" She asked. I didn't want to look at her. I scanned the room for a clock. Fifteen minutes left...I didn't realise how much time had gone by. "Do you feel like you were never properly loved?" She asked. God, I hated therapy.  The tears poured down my face like a waterfall. I wish she hadn't said anything. She offered me tissue but I rejected it. She picked up the file again. "Lily, it's okay." She said. I shook my head. She offered me the tissue again and I accepted it, wiping my face. My eyes felt tired and heavy, and I knew that they were red. I tried breathing in and out slowly to calm myself down. "We can talk about it next time. Your time's up." She said.  

   I stormed out of her office and walked straight for the elevator, leaving Simon to follow me. I didn't want him to see my red eyes and ask me questions on how it went. The elevator made a 'ding' noise to signify that the door was about to open. "Lily, wait, slow down!" Simon yelled after me. I got in the elevator, wishing the door would close on him, but it didn't. He sighed as he stepped in, and the doors closed behind him. I crossed my arms across my chest and looked to the side. Thankfully, he didn't ask any questions, and again, the whole car ride was silent.  

   Once we got home, I ran up to my room, avoiding the boys, especially Louis. I heard the sound of the tv as I silently raced up the stairs. I closed my door quietly and laid face down on my bed so that my cries could escape silently.