Still Alive - Adam Stanheight

Chapter 19

TW: Fake Su*c*de

"Adam!" Lawrence calls as he enters the open apartment. John follows, looking around the apartment as if he's never seen a nicer place in all his life. That's when Lawrence finds Adam in the bathroom, which isn't so nice. There are "pills" on the floor, Adam is pale and sick-looking, the room reeks of vomit and his t-shirt is stained with drool. He almost looks like a zombie.

"Shit, Adam!" Lawrence cries once he reaches the room. He genuinely feels guilty about what has happened, mainly because he thinks that this is all his fault. He tries to kneel to Adam's level, but fails because of his limp. "What did you do to yourself?"

Adam stares at him blankly. "I thought you were a doctor." John then enters the room and shrugs slightly at Adam's appearance. Lawrence looks at him vulnerably and desperately. "John, we have to get him help."

John shakes his head. "No. I was told that I can help." He hunches down to meet Adam's eyes. "Tell me, Adam. Did we cause this?"

Adam lets out of a sarcastic, angry chuckle, which he isn't putting on. This is his chance to finally tell John what the aftermath of his traps are really like. "What do you think, John? I know what you want me to say. I learned my lesson and this shit is my own mess, but no. All this is because of you."

John looks at Adam a little confused, although he knows exactly what he's talking about. "But you have learned, Adam. That is the reason you came to us."

Adam suddenly sits up in anger, causing John to flinch. "I didn't learn shit, you psychopath! The reason I came to you, is not what you think. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that I tried to take my own fucking life because of you! I would've never done that before but I can't handle what you put me through. You ruined my life!"

John doesn't respond, which causes Adam to leap up in fury. "You fucking ruined my life!" he shouts, which causes both John and Lawrence to back up. "Did you think doing that to me was gonna make me a better person, huh? Because it didn't. I'm never gonna be the same again and I can't put the blame on anyone else but you, you cunt!"

"I thought you wanted my help," John responds, his hands shot up in defence as if he did nothing wrong. "I didn't come out here to be your personal punching bag."

Adam scowls, his voice beginning to crack. "You're such a fucking narcissist you know that? You can't accept the fact that what you're doing is wrong. Sure, your methods are valid if you kidnap people who physically and sexually assault others, murders, pedophiles, people who ACTUALLY DESERVE IT? You're a fucking monster!"

Adam suddenly bursts into tears. The relief of getting all of that out of his system to John himself is incredibly emotional but also freeing. He drops to the floor and continues to sob into his hands, like a sad, broken child.

John watches this with no remorse whereas Lawrence can't help but feel extremely bad. He remembers this is how he left Adam in the bathroom. Scared, alone and no way of escape. He caused that, and now he's caused it again.

He manages to kneel down to Adam's level and pats him on the shoulder. Adam jumps out of his skin and shuffles back to the wall in fear. "Don't fucking touch me!" He then realises that this is the perfect time to threaten them with the pistol and call the police. That's when John's phone receives a notification. He nods at Lawrence and then suspiciously leaves the room.

Now the two are in a much different, cleaner bathroom, but the same fear and vulnerability is exposed in both of them just like when they were in the trap. Lawrence shuffles further away from Adam and holds his arm out as if he is taming an animal. "I know you're scared," he says, his voice trembling. "But you have to trust us, just this once. We're going to get you better help. I'll meet you and John at the hospital, so you're met with a familiar face, okay?"

Adam doesn't respond and continues to weep. He then responds with; "Don't make promises when you can't fucking keep them. I'm not falling into your trap again."

Lawrence puts his hand up to his heart. "I cross my heart and hope to d-" He is interrupted by John, who is holding a gun directly towards Adam. "Something came up, Dr Gordon," he says calmly.

As Lawrence tries to stop John, Adam leaps up, pulling out his pistol from the cabinet, facing off John just how Brielle faced off Amanda. "If you shoot me, I'll shoot you back. I'm not fucking kidding," Adam cries, his voice continuing to tremble violently.

"I don't want to shoot you," John responds, but he doesn't lower his gun. "You have proved to me that you appreciate your life. What you haven't learned are the consequences of interfering with affairs that are not your business. I am aware I tested you for the opposite reason, but you have not found the balance."

John drops the gun and takes out the exact same spray Amanda had. Lawrence grabs his wrist. "Please don't do this," he pleads. John loosens himself from Lawrence's grip. "I have no choice, Dr Gordon. You know that." Lawrence now has no choice but to helplessly watch.

Adam backs up to the wall, the pistol stretched out in front of him. "Stay back. I swear to God, I will do it." John scowls slightly. "No, you won't. You shoot me, Amanda is ready to shoot your partner. I don't lie, do I?"

Adam gasps at the realisation that Brielle has been caught. One wrong move could kill her. "No, No, NO!" he begins to scream. "If you even lay a finger on her I will fucking kill you! Even if it's the last thing I do!"

"She doesn't have to get hurt if you drop the gun," John replies, scarily casual. "Let her live or die. Make your choice."

Adam drops the gun immediately, bawling his eyes out. He thought that he and Brielle were prepared for every scenario but he has now realised that no matter what they do, they could never outsmart John. Nobody can.

John sprays Adam with the toxic gas as he continues to cry. It dies down as the gas kicks in, knocking him right out. Before he is fully knocked unconscious, he hears Lawrence say one last thing.

"I am so sorry, Adam."