A baker's dozen

When were you gonna tell us?!

And now here we (outfit 2) were in our Christmas outfits on the porch of the house in the sun. While everyone else wears red and white and green with fun little Christmas outfits I'm still in black but at least I have a fun little Christmas hat on. You look like something out of the Nightmare Before Christmas. Sarah scoffs at me with a roll her eyes.

Awe Sarah that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. I smirk back at her and take my place next to her. Love you too sister. I tease giving her a big hug. *Ug* seriously?! Get off of me! Freak! She mutters. You're just full of nice compliments today. You must really love me. See mom one big happy family just like you wanted. Merry Christmas everybody.

Way to dress for the occasion. I hear others grumble. At least someone is. Someone else muttered back. While the others sat in silence hands on their cheeks as I sat next to my dear twin sister a flip of my hair a big smile on my face. It was just so unsettling for the rest of my family to be upset while I'm the only one smiling when this is what I choose to show them.

I could never show them how I really feel on the inside. Not a part of anything no one wants anything to do with me. I don't belong in this family. But I know I have to be strong. You can't be in family like ours and live through being weak or caring about what everyone thinks of you. Whether you actually care the most or not.

Did it upset me that Sarah shoved me off of her like that? Yes completely. But like I told you I was never going to let anyone see that they got to me ever again. I was weak twice before and I won't be ever again. If everyone was going to see me as just one thing then I was going to be just that one thing that they all thought of me as and own it.

Because what else could I had done? It's not like I had many other options. I'm simply 1/13. Was I ok with people naming me Wednesday? Not when it's to tease me or out of spite. We have another family like ours our competition family during the summers they have 9 kids. They have a son mine and Sarah's age he's the Lucas to my Wednesday. But his real name is Jason.

Really he's the only one I don't mind using this nickname. Everyone else uses it in spite or tease me. To make fun of me or bully me. To be honest I'm not sure most of my siblings even know my real name anymore. Especially not the ones that came after me and Sarah. Not even my parents call me by my real name. They correct it to my real name when they do.

I don't think Nora means to be mean I think she thinks she's being cute like she's playing along. Mark is probably the only one that really knows my real name and treats me well. But we're both outcasts in our big family. But he's my opposite. At least in front of everyone. But when I'm alone or before I go to sleep at night I cry myself to sleep every night.

Not enough magic in the world would ever make my family love me or want or need me or feel the same way I feel about them to feel about me. Especially not Sarah. A part of me wanted her love more than anything. She's my twin sister! Of course I want that love more than anything. Yet she's the one that bullies me the most out of everybody.

And she feels justified in the way I act and dress. I don't mind being a freak or weird. Rather be a freak or weird than to be mean or fit in to bully others to be "normal." Unfortunately that's the case with our family and IDK how to be different than that. IDK what I'd do if she suddenly gave me affection. The only time we work together is when we prank someone.

They're saying something. What is everyone saying? See I'm so alone and up in my head that even when I'm physically present I'm not emotionally or spiritually or mentally present and I miss out. I'm sure my parents are upset with me for wearing black in a holiday card especially when it's not winter.

What day is it again? Is it summer? Is it half way through the school year? Is it a new school year? *ug* IDK anymore. With so many of us it's easy to forget what day of the week it is. All the days run together. At least Jake was following in my lead he was wearing black too. And Malibu Barbie was agreeing that black worked.

Reminding us that Jesus had his funeral on Christmas. Though one of my brothers speaks up to say that was Easter but potato patoto. He was resurrected on Easter moron I hear one of the girl twins argue back. Arguing yep the one thing we do well as a family together. What's all the fighting about? Dad asked.

When exactly were you planning on telling us we were moving? Sarah asked. Then we all started screaming about how we weren't moving. But I didn't care enough to voice my opinions. Did I like the idea of moving? Of course not! But everyone was saying too no one would care about what I wanted.

I told you so. Was the only thing I had to say. Because I warned them that we heard what they said. And my drone had all the proof we needed. So we all went back inside and talked about this moving process. Starting with Charlie. Wherever he wanted to go whatever he wanted to do or whoever he wanted to see mom said would be 4 hours away.

But that's the same as driving from Olathe KS to St. Louise MO. It's 4 hours and that's a long time to go somewhere to do something or see someone just to turn around and come back home at the end of the day. But he let us know this was more than just about Beth that it was more than that his whole life was here.

Same as the rest of us. And right after that the phone rang it was Nora we quickly let her know she was on speaker as her crappy husband or boyfriend or whoever he was or whatever sitting on the couch watching T.V. or something. So you guys thinking about moving up here? She asked us. Our parents joked wondering if she had a big enough space for her whole big family up there.

Just big enough for two dad. She reminded him. How's your book going mom? She asked her. She told her how she just sent it to a friend for publishing so we'd see how things went. Mark said Bean's mom was buried there and he wasn't gonna split them up. Dad said we could do something like that at the new place.

But we were all concerned that we could afford that. But then they told us that we could that we'd be able to with this new job that dad was taking on. He said he was gonna be making enough money to get her out of hand me downs. Get Jake new skates he's been asking for. Wed.... I mean Farrah more stuff to do science or magic or whatever with and we can all go to her shows.

Each and every one of us. Get a new car that we've been saving up for. Sarah said all her friends were there. But she was told she could make new friends there. And that she could keep in touch. We all started arguing again. Until dad picked up the blowhorn to tell everyone to be quiet.

He understood what a big deal this was that we were all scared. And he knew that we were very comfortable here. And that's why he's been turning down all these other coaching jobs throughout the years. But he let us know this was a job he really wanted ever since we left Chicago. And he said in fact this was more than just a job to him.

That this was his team. His colors that it was the Stallions. And they're finally calling my number. All the while Nora was still on the phone listening to all of this. And he said he wanted us all to take this risk with him because if we did he promised we would be a stronger happier family. But I knew that was a promise he couldn't keep.

And that's when Sarah spoke up. She said that she felt that she'd be happier and stronger if we could all take a vote on it. So we all started agreeing. Throwing dad's words back at him. We felt that this was the only fair way of doing things but of course dad threw us the fine vote on it but in the end it was him and mom that made the ultimate final choice. Then what's the point in even voting?!