Teen Titans: How Long Is Too Long?

Chapter 6: Memories

*Beast Boy's POV*

I don't remember the first time I ever morphed as a cat around Starfire.

Was it the time that I thought she'd been buried under the rubble, when we were fighting Thunder and Lightning?

That's a scary memory.

But I don't know if that's really the first time. Maybe I've done it before then, as I'm sure I've done it a couple times since.

It's just, I don't know man. Starfire is so bubbly, and she always pets me when I morph into something cute, it's something that wouldn't fly with Raven, for instance.

No, if it was Raven in that infirmary bed right now, I wouldn't even be considering morphing. She would just brush me off, get upset. But Starfire, she wouldn't mind it, I'm sure. She'd smile at me. And I really, really want to see her smile right now.

But her eyes are still closed, fluttering only the tiniest bit, and her hand is twitching very gently under Robins'. It wouldn't be right to morph now. She has to be awake to see me, she has to be all better, she has to...

"Her vitals are getting stronger," Raven says, quietly, and I notice Robin do a slight nod to acknowledge this. But he doesn't tear his eyes apart from Star. We're all just focusing so hard on her, just waiting...

And when she finally surprises us by taking in a deep breath, like someone's who's been submerged underwater for a long time, we all gasp a little too. She looks around and we all stare right back at her, in glad disbelief.

"Hi there," she utters in a broken, tired voice.

"Hi there, Star!" Cyborg replies, clearly containing himself from yelling it out. He's smiling so widely, and she's grinning weakly too. Even Raven's expression is so warm, a rare sight I'm sure to engrave into my memory. Only Robin's still a little stiff, is he... about to cry? Oh dude, I totally get it though. I shouldn't make fun of him for that. Not right now, at least.

"How are you feeling?" Raven queries.

Starfire's beaming. "I'm feeling good..."

Just good? Why feel good when you can feel great! As Cyborg starts saying, "you gave us quite a fright there, Star," I decide it's the perfect opportunity to jump into her bed as a kitten, and her response is...

Shock?

She breathes out a small, nervous laugh. Maybe it's because I hadn't done this in a while. But this is our thing! I just have to give her a nudge, and she'll realize, right?

So I rub my head a little against her un-held hand, but she just recoils it gently as she responds to Cyborg, "I'm sorry about that. But I'm alright now."

I don't know what to think. I just decide to morph out of it, and say nothing. No one seems to have noticed it either.

"But Starfire, what exactly happened back there?" Robin asks, with genuine concern marking every syllable. He's gripping her hand more tightly now, yet completely unaware of it. As unaware as everyone is to the frown on my face.

"I don't remember..." she explains, grimacing as if the mere question was hurting her. Raven glances at the vitals. Did they change at all? I can't tell.

But even I don't need to be told this when Raven suggests, "maybe we don't discuss that now, okay? Not until she's gotten a little better."

"But, I just want to know," Robin continues, "did someone take you? Did someone hurt you? If you know who they were, and if you can tell me, I'll-"

"Robin, I..." she interrupts him, through more laboured breaths. "I really can't remember..."

Raven's face is darker. "Robin, I'm serious. Give her a little time..."

"But what if there is no time? What if whoever did this to her, is getting away right now? Or if they're on their way here? I..." he rambles on, letting go of Star's hand in favor of standing up and pacing to and from the door. "I need to know. I can't not know. Sorry Star."

And at that, he bursts out the room, and Cyborg sighs when the door slams shut after him. "I can't say he doesn't have a point. But man..." He walks over, closer to Starfire's side, and rests his hand on her shoulder. "I'm just glad nothing worse happened to ya."

__________            __________         __________

I watch Raven come into the common room, visibly exhausted. She sees that I'm the only other person here, as Robin is off being Robin, and Cyborg said he'd try to help him by seeing what footage he could salvage from the security systems he hacked into at the docks.

"She's back to resting. I left her with some water and... mustard, in case she wakes up thirsty," Raven announces, and plops down hard on the sofa.

I don't think twice before saying, "you need some rest too. And some food and water. And yeah, just, rest... You deserve it."

"I am pretty tired... and hungry."

I- I didn't expect her to say that! An opening! A- oh, I should- "I can prepare something for you! Anything you want!"

She gives me the faintest smile. "What if what I wanted, was a huge barbeque?"

"I'd grill you some tofu and veggies."

She giggles, in her special low-energy, sweet way. I feel like I'm in the clouds. "I don't know, BB... maybe just some fruit is okay."

"Some fruit, coming right up!" I chant, immediately hurrying off to the kitchen. I open the fridge and discover that we only have a can of sliced pineapple, some bananas and a couple of apples. I'll just have to put some effort into the presentation, then!

"I'm kinda glad you're in a good mood, at least. Dealing with Robin's manic, obsessive energy right now is... a little taxiing," Raven confides in me, and I'm taken aback, again.

I try to sound relaxed as I reply, "well I'm just... Trying to stay positive, you know?"

But I guess it just goes to show, how little attention everyone's been spending on me. Or how good I am at masking it.

Because clearly Raven didn't realize it, but the moment she walked in I was deep in thought. Yes, me, who would've thought?

It's so hard to explain, and maybe everyone would dismiss me as overreacting or just being oversensitive because of what happened with Star's contact. But it made me feel like... something's off.

And maybe it's just because she was tired, or maybe the problem with her memory is more serious than we realize. But all my animals senses are telling me to a be a little distrusting, and it's difficult to come to terms with. She's my friend, she's like my sister and of course I love her as such, so having these out of places feelings is just... hurtful, really.

As hurtful as her reaction was. Or her disappearance before that.

Man, it's been a long night. I really need some rest, too.