Sharp Edges: Crosshair x Reader [NSFW]

Spice and Advice

The mesmerizing waves of hyperspace stretched all around as Crosshair stared out the front of the Marauder. He didn't normally sit with Tech while he piloted, but he'd found that being alone with his thoughts was unbearable. So much had been churning within, all yanked to the surface with one simple inquiry. So much that he had worked so hard to keep firmly buried, locked behind walls of proficiency and sarcasm and a stone cold exterior that kept people from nosing around. And yet his damn nightmare had betrayed him. This was why he never stayed the night. This was why he never brought people to his place.

He'd talked himself into it. He'd sensed the similarity, the kindred spirit, and felt the allure of exploring another hard-shelled person of wit and substance. He thought it was just playful banter and pleasurable passion, but there was something in him that wanted a little more. Just a taste. The conversation, the closeness... it was disarming and he hated it, but he'd felt inexplicably connected... and look where it got him.

"You are brooding more than usual," Tech observed, jolting Crosshair out of his scowl-inducing thoughts. Tech wasn't usually one to make such observations, rather understanding that things were better left alone until they were volunteered or offered for discussion. He must have been particularly sour-looking.

"The Kaminoans should have engineered us better," Crosshair answered, "Emotions are hindrances. We could have been so much more efficient." Why was he opening up? This girl was doing things to him, after just a couple encounters. It's as though something had been released, a spring had been released and it would take a lot of work to tediously cram and fold it all back in.

"Agreed," Tech nodded, shifting his eyes back to the view before them. "I would certainly prefer that." They sat silently for a while, Crosshair feeling deeply unsatisfied still. Eventually, Tech spoke again. "However, I believe they wanted us to be as fully human as possible, and feelings, while highly difficult to comprehend and regulate without sufficient emotional intelligence, do serve some purposes, I believe. Sometimes they are able to alert us to things that our cognitive brain is not yet aware of, or has somehow altered or ignored out of various manifestations of our self-preservation instinct. I fully prefer to rely on the upper-level processing, but apparently if you ignore the reactions and feelings, you are missing out on some valuable information that can better inform your decisions. Taking emotions into consideration, seeing them as the messengers that they are, can ultimately serve us well."

Trying not to groan at the lecture, Crosshair still felt a bit surprised at Tech's insights. He squinted, trying to see how they fit into his current predicament, rolling the toothpick side to side in his mouth.

"Additionally," Tech continued, unfazed, "Sometimes they simply let us experience the richness and nuance of human life. It is what makes us different from droids. Joy, pain, humor, connection... They shape our decisions, and I suppose our very selves... But this is venturing into a topic of which I have insufficient knowledge." He ended abruptly, and Crosshair knew that was the end of his spiel. He slowly stood, stretching from being hunched in his seat for a while, and turned to head back to his bunk.

"However, if you are talking about your new interest," Tech said suddenly, stopping Crosshair in his tracks, "I think an emotional connection could be beneficial for you in a variety of ways, depending on the particular dynamic and the way it's expressed."

"New interest?" Crosshair feigned, turning slowly to look at Tech, who rotated in the pilot seat to meet his gaze evenly.

"It is alright if you wish to avoid the topic. A number of recent signs have pointed to it as a likely possibility."

"Always so observant," came the hissed reply, but Crosshair leaned against the side panel, considering the potential benefit of some logic and clarity. Finally, he caved. "I found someone different," he sighed, face hard and carefully void of any emotion, "But she was getting too close."