Dear Carter

•5

Dear Carter,

I feel so trapped. Like I'm in a cage and I'm never getting out. I can't breathe, my hiccups won't let me. I can't see, my tears blur my sight. I can't hear, my sobs won't let me. Does the pain ever go away? I'm so tired of fighting for my life. I don't want my life, I just want to die.

Today I went to pizza hut with Andrea. When she was in the bathroom some kids from school saw me and called me a fat pig. One girl even spilled my drink on my lap. I don't know why they hate me, I never did anything to them. But I understand, because I hate me too. Why do people have to be so mean? I'll never understand how they think its okay to make people feel like this. I hate myself so much. I'm so fat. Maybe I should starve myself. I'm ugly too, with my long plain brown hair and plain brown eyes. Who would ever like me. Nobody. I'll never be good enough for anyone. I'm a worthless pathetic fat ugly freak. That's all I'll ever be. I just wish that I could dissapere. Gosh, I want to die so bad. There's no point on living in a world I'm not wanted in.